New Doorknob

Today, instead of a general idea of Alaskan life, I would like to share with you the events of my morning. I find them both amusing and action-packed, and I hope you do too.

7:25 Alarm Clock goes off "Beep Beep Beep" We're too far from any radio station to have a choice when setting the alarm. Beep is my only choice.

7:25:03 Hit snooze for the first time. The plan is to do this until the clock says 8:00.

7:30 The phone rings. Because of a previous event involving me sleeping in, and getting a call from the school, I take morning phone calls very seriously. I jump out of bed, wrap my blankie around me, and race for the living room, where I left

 the phone the night before.

7:31 Answer the phone. It's my Dad! He wishes me a happy birthday, and we chat until it's time for me to leave for school. Unfortunately, I'm still sitting on the couch wrapped in a blanket, instead of being dressed like I could be if I had a longer phone cord on the phone. 

8:13 We hang up, and I head to my room to get dressed.

8:16 Dressed in black pants, my tie-dyed green and white school shirt, and a camouflage handkerchief, because it's Friday!  I leave my room, ready to find my shoes and go to school.

8:17 Attempt to open the door so I can leave my house. It doesn't open.

8:17-8:25 Twist, pry, shove, rattle, and curse the doorknob. It refuses to open.

8:25 Claim defeat and call the school. Floyd is very sympathetic to my cause, and informs me that he will send help. 

8:26 Move the shelves away from the window in the kitchen so I can communicate with whoever shows up to save me. 

8:27 Try to open the window. Realize it's locked, unlock the window and try again. Realize that it was unlocked in the first place, it's just frozen in place. Unlock the window for real and pull harder.

8:28 Feel pretty proud of myself for opening the window. Realize that this is the least of my problems.

8:30 Greet the principal, and both maintenance men as they troop onto my porch. Watch my principal fiddle with the door for a minute, decide it needs the attention of the maintenance men, and leaves. 

8:32 Talk to the men as they work on the door. Go screw the doorknob in

 tightly, hoping that will help. Try to take the screen off the window so I can pass them my keys.

8:33 Realize the screen is also frozen in place. Watch Warren hit it with his Leatherman, breaking up the ice, while John works on the doorknob.

8:34 Listen as the maintenance men decide that taking the doorknob off is the best bet. 

8:35 Try to unscrew the doorknob from the inside while John twists and wrenches it from the outside.  Curse John for trying to pinch my fingers. Realize that the

doorknob is completely unscrewed, but still won't move. 

8:36 Return to the window, where the screen is mostly free. Use the screwdriver my dad gave me to pry it the rest of the way out. Silently thank Dad for getting me tools. 

8:37 Get a chair John can use to land on when he comes through the window.

8:38 Watch John break the doorknob, twice. 

8:39 Race to school, feel guilty about how late I am. Watch how no one seems to care.

8:45 Start school like a regular day!!

10:00 Receive new key for the new doorknob the maintenance guys are putting in. Wonder just how cold it's going to be in my house with the front door open for an hour.

Ode to a Maintenance Man

While some of you may think you have good maintenance at your place of employment, that is only because you have never know the joy of having John  and Warren as your maintenance men.

So today, in honor of them, I've created this little list:

-When pop came in for the senior store late on Monday night, John was out there hauling NINETY cases up the stairs so we could use the dollies to get them into the storage room.

-When I locked myself on the elementary side 

of the building, with no shoes and no keys, right before everyone left for Stebbins, and I was about to be left behind, Warren came and found me.

-When my house was colder inside than outside, and I was sitting in front of the oven, which was turned all the way up, in my sleeping bag, over Christmas break, John came and made the heat work again. Then he sat in the basement with a blowtorch to thaw the pipes, so I could function.

-This morning, when I opened my front do

or, and found 30 inches of snow on my porch, I just sort of froze. I couldn't imagine digging my way out through that drift. Then I saw Warren shoveling one of the portable steps.  I whistled at him, and showed him how deep my porch was. I figured he'd laugh, and that would make it all better, and I'd dig my way out. Well, I was wrong, he came over and started shoveling. So I did  too, and we met in the middle, and I was able to leave my house in a lot less time, and a lot warmer, than I had figured. 

-When the class I sponsor got to be seniors, we needed another chaperone. If it was a man, then we wouldn't have to pay for a second advisor and a chaperone, we could just do with just the one. Enter John. Cool like a kid, responsible like a grown up. And, since he has no immediate ties anyone on the trip, I can trust him to be impartial during arguments. 

-Monday, I stumbled to school, already tired, and took a shower. Then I realized that my keys were still at my house, and I didn't want to go outside with wet hair. Just then, Warren came around the corner, and let me in. Very nice. Very, very nice.  Any time I don't have to tell the principal about my incompetence is a good time. 

-They put a new water pump in my house when mine broke, so I could stop scooping water out of the reservoir, and just turn on the sink like a regular person. They also took the frozen pipes out from under my sink so I could catch my drainage in a bucket and take it out, instead of backing up a bunch of pipes which would start to smell.

In addition to all these specific moments, they also keep the school running, and the heaters at our houses supplied with oil. They bring in the mail, bring in the visiting teams, and bring in the clean water when the school is out. When their hands get cold from working outside so much, and their fingers crack open, they just wrap them with electrical tape, and keep going. 

I don't care if they can't fly, and I don't even care when they make fun of me for being dumb, they are my heroes. 

I was just reading over this post again, fixing some tense mistakes. I almost make my self look like an idiot. Well, maybe I am, but these are instances from the last four years, and like Jessica Simpson says: "I'm not really that dumb. Tape anyone long enough, and they're bound to make some mistakes."