Cold Hands, Warm Heart

I'm not an addict, it's cool. I can stop anytime.

2012-02-10T12:46:00.000-09:00

There's a problem with some satellite somewhere, so right now, our internet is pretty sketchy. Hopefully this will post today.

It is on days like this that I realize just how much the internet has played into my life. I realized that tomorrow is a work day for teachers at the school, and if I can't get online to use our electronic gradebook, I'll just work on y forums for my online class. . . Oh, wait. No, that won't work. Oh well, at least there's Facebook to . . . Oh, right. Not that either. Skype? Blog posts? Comics? Lesson planning? Nope, no, nada, hunt-uh.

Turns out that I use the internet a lot more than I thought I did. And when I realized that I might not be able to upload my paper, I realized I could have my buddy in the class tell the teacher. Until I realized that I'm only friends with this woman through the class, and on Facebook, and we've never met in real life, and I have no idea how to get ahold of her otherwise. I guess I could look up her phone number, but since she doesn't live in western Alaska, I'd have to use the internet to look her up anyway.

There's some irony for you.

Signs of the Times

2012-02-05T00:58:00.000-09:00

When I was young, a woman from the church complemented my sisters' eyes. She said they were gorgeous blue eyes. Then she looked at me, and said, "Not you, Colleen, you have poopy brown eyes." And it hurt. I don't know why. She was a silly woman who wasn't thinking. When I got home, my mother reminded me that I had her eyes, and while I knew that was true, it didn't make me feel any better at the time.

Now I am older, and as I smiled at myself in the mirror tonight, my eyes crinkled in the exact same way my mom's always have. Mom, I wouldn't trade my eyes for all the blue eyes in the world. Thank you for giving them to me, I cherish them.

That's my mom with her first grand-daughter, Kendall. And the crinkles around her eyes make me feel loved, and connected. I didn't like them when they first started to show up, but I've grown up a bit since then, and I even sort of like them now.

The simple things in life

2012-01-08T15:31:00.000-09:00

Hello devoted fans. We just finished our first week back from Christmas break. We started school on Wednesday, but had Saturday school, so we still got in 4 days. Not me, I took a sick day because I was sick. We're passing a cold around, and it's taken me this long to realize that the school will function without me for a day, and I can be off if I'm sick. I mostly rested, and called my mom. That's what one does when they're sick, right?

Also, I took a shower. Now, this may not seem like such a big accomplishment, but it really is. Especially now. As some of you may know, our water is stored in a giant tank at the other end of the village. Twice a year, a hose is run to the school/city, and our tanks there are filled up. When we need water at the house, we run a hose to our own tank, in a little side-room off the arctic entry:

This is one of the biggest tanks I've seen. It's 500 gallons, and will last us quite a while. You may remember the day someone else overflowed the tank, and I had to stand there with my hand over that hole in the side, to keep the water from all spilling out, while little kids ran around with buckets and pitchers to collect the overflow.

Normally, this water pump keeps the pressure in our house up. It just hangs out there behind the tank, kicking on whenever we need more water. But now it's broken. It had been dying since October, when they ordered us a new one, but it has finally given up the ghost, and we can't even use it a little.

Also, that is a window on the left, which used to go from the bathroom to the outside world, but now goes from the bathroom to the storage shed, and actually has been blocked by the walls of a shower. This house was built in bits and pieces. I have a similar window in my bedroom, which looks out into a storage space.

Since the pump died, we were trying to figure out how to scoop or syphon water out of the tank, so we could function. Denis Davis, a man in the village, was over getting some eggs, and he noticed that there was a spigot on the bottom of the tank. We were able to attach a short hose (10 feet) to the spigot, and can now pull water out whenever we need it. However, it is cold out in those sheds, and I don't want to have to put on shoes every time I need water. We were going to fill up our big pot, some of the larger bowls, and all the water pitchers in the house, when Denis pointed out that we had two coolers, and they hold water very well. So we filled those up instead.

The water coming out of this hose is pretty clean right now. The big tank has been sitting, undisturbed, for about a week, and all the particulates have fallen to the very bottom. From here, we can scoop out of these coolers and get water for our day to day needs.

The distiller heats water up in its internal tank, and the steam collects on the top, condenses, and drips clean water into containers, so we can pour it into our 5 gallon tank, and have clean water for drinking, and cooking with.

Here it is, being heated on the stove in our biggest pot. I'm so glad we have this giant pot. It's enough water for one quick wash-down, or a sinkload of dishes.

And then I get to take a shower. Or, more appropriately, a sponge bath. Also, if anyone remembers what it was like to wash our hair on pioneer trek, they'll understand what I'm going through. Also, I don't know where those yellow lines came from, there wasn't anything wrong with the iPad I was using to take pictures, or the tub itself. Huh, weird.

Light, Part 2

2011-12-12T13:10:00.000-09:00

Here we are, sitting in the classroom at the tail end of lunch, and the sun has made an appearance. This photo was taken at 1:05 p.m. As you can't tell, because I used PhotoBooth, which is for taking pictures of your own face, the sun is actually visible above the horizon:

Why have my last two blog posts been about light levels? Because it's dark most of the time. The sun sets, and two hours later I'm ready for bed. Except that it gets dark up here around 4, which means I'm ready for sleep at 6 p.m., and that's really not good for my social life, or sleep patterns.

Oh, darkness induced hibernation. It's a fun game.

Light

2011-12-09T14:43:00.000-09:00

We have reached that point in the year where the light is pretty much gone. Don't get me wrong, there is still some, in fact, outside it looks like this:

But this is about as light as it gets. We've had dense cloud cover for most of the week, and while the sun comes up and goes down, I don't see it, buried under all these clouds. At least it's stopped snowing.

According to the internet, the sun rose today at 12:23 in the AFTERNOON!!, and will set at 3:30, also this afternoon. That gives us a total of 3 hours, 7 minutes of sunlight. Except, of course, we haven't seen the sun in a week.

Trudging to and from school has become just that: trudging. There is a lot of new, fluffy snow that must be navigated. My boots are more than adequate, but I continue to wear skirts to school, and sometimes the snow gets higher than the tops of my boots. Or else my skirt is too long, and drags in the snow, and then I have a wet skirt slapping against my ankles when I get to school and put on my sandals.

Soon, Christmas will be here, and I won't have to leave my house for days on end. Don't mock, it's a beautiful thing.

Update on Life

2011-12-05T21:47:00.000-09:00

I'm working on my online class right now, and am doing this as a break between writing my personal opinions on the forums. So, to relax from that, I'm going to... ummm... post my personal opinions on this web log.

Oh, I see the irony there.

My class is asking me to give my opinion on war, gays, Market-Capitalism, and philosophy. I find that as I get writing on these topics, that I am a lot better at telling stories about my ideas than actually telling my opinion. And for those of you that know me, you'll understand that I don't often have a problem sharing my opinions.

So here, in my blog, I will share some straight up opinions about my life:

-I don't care that I'm not the favorite teacher. I just care about that moment when the light goes on in a kid's eyes, and I realize that they suddenly understand what I'm talking about. It's glorious.

-I don't understand how a flight to Nome can cost $340 round trip, but a trip to Brevig can cost as little as $200, even though they're ridiculously close together.

-The older I get, the less my eyes, ears, and joints work. I've got three fingers now that make clicks or stall when I try to bend them. I don't know who said 40 was the new 30, because 30 is starting to feel significantly older than 20 did.

-I finished my Christmas shopping, but am concerned that I spent a lot more on some of my siblings than others. I find myself worrying that I should buy more presents for these people, so they don't feel left out, even though they don't really know what their presents cost.

-Sleeping in a room that is too cold is easier than a room that is too hot. One can always pile on more blankets. One cannot always take more off.

-Some authors seem to write more to show off how smart they are than to share information. (Stephanie Meyer is not one of these authors.)

-While movies labeled "Adult" are inappropriate for everyone, movies labeled "Children" are good for everyone.

Okay, I'll go back to my class now.

Not another apology

2011-11-14T08:26:00.000-09:00

I feel like I've started every post lately with an apology about not posting often enough. So here it is: sorry.

I've been reading the blogs of some of the new teachers in the district: Stacey from Wales, and Mike and Lisa here in Shishmaref. Their posts are adorable, and funny. The thing is, I've already posted on the topics they're posting on.

I've talked about visitors to my house,
Walking with kids
Halloween traditions
Cheerleaders
Snow
Snow
Snow
Melting Snow
Blowing Snow
The joy of produce,
and countless other things.

We had a woman come up here in the fall of '04, and long-term sub for five months. She still occasionally e-mails, looking for information on some of the kids. And I've been known to say this: I know that we were the most exciting thing to ever happen to her, but for us, she was a blip on the radar, and has been gone so long we sometimes forget about her entirely.

I've also heard that when ones goes on a foreign mission, they should take pictures of all the weird and wonderful things when they first get there, because after six months, none of it will seem that odd. I've become this way about Shishmaref. I was talking to someone this morning about whether the coffin got here on the plane today, so we can have a funeral this afternoon. I'm sure that for most of you, the idea of holding a funeral because the coffin hasn't made it from Anchorage yet is shocking and unique. But for me it's become old hat.

Well, it's time for me to go get my sex-ed unit lined up for health class. The kids are pretending they're not excited about it. Uh huh. Sure.

You're from Shishmaref if. . .

2011-10-23T12:31:00.000-08:00

Hello devoted fans. I would start this post out with an apology for not writing more often, but that is a slippery slope of turning every post into a list of apologies.

There is a new Facebook group, entitled "You know you're from Shishmaref if. . ." and there are some funny ones, and some that I just look at and say, "Huh?"

I recently returned from three days in Anchorage, and there's nothing like ANC to show me just how different living out here really is. So I thought I'd share a couple things I remembered during that trip.

You know you're from Shishmaref if:

-you write town names as their airport codes instead of names. SHH, WBB, KTS, UNK, OME, etc.

-you don't think it's weird to try to play with random kids at Wal-Mart, because you're allowed to play with all the kids at the stores at home.

-you can't go through the Anchorage Airport without seeing someone you know.

-you walk up to a stranger at McDonalds, and ask: "Can I sit with you?" because you're not used to eating alone.

-you gripe that someone bought out all the 12 inch tortillas, and then buy all the 9 inch.

-you take a quick shower at the hotel, then remember that they're not rationing their water, and take another one.

-you find that you've forgotten you ATM PIN number, because you never need it.

-you forget that people need to see I.D. (I don't think I've ever been asked for ID in SHH. Not for check cashing, not for voting, not when giving my statement to the police.)

-you see a hotel clerk help carry a woman's tiny carry-on while you shoulder your own 45 lb bag.

Okay, that's about all I've got for now. I might add more later if I think of anything. Thanks for your patience between posts.

Time just keeps flying

2011-09-30T15:24:00.000-08:00

The school attendance doc tells me that today is Friday. Who knows where the time goes.

There is no point to this posting except to say that I can't believe that today is the last day of the month already, and I'm confused about where the time went. Also that it's time to wash my sheets again.

We got snow last night. There's still some on my porch, which has been in the shade all day. Maybe I should stop wearing knee-length skirts outside. . .

First School Day of Fall

2011-09-26T08:15:00.002-08:00

I'm not sure if this has been going on for a could days now or not. I just know that today was the first day since Thursday that I've walked to school in the early morning. (We've been in Stebbins for training.)

On the walk over this morning, I noticed that we had frost on the ground. FROST. This is, as usual, the beginning of the end. Wish me luck folks, it's all downhill from here.

New School Year

2011-09-10T16:48:00.000-08:00

Once I got back to Alaska, I helped out at the Bering Strait School District Welcome Wagon. (Find a longer title with more capital letters, I dare you.) While there, I helped the new staff shop, get drivers licenses, and set up accounts at some stores. Also, there is sight-seeing. On my last night, one of my graduated students, Katherine, came out to dinner with us. Full disclosure: I drug the WW teachers along with me to have dinner with Katherine. Afterwards, we went to (something similar to but not) Wildberry Chocolates. This is the home of the largest chocolate waterfall in the world, so we had to get pictures in front of it:

After Welcome Wagon, I had several days in Anchorage to play with the Guy family. (Yes, their name is awesome, they know.)

Then several days in Nome, and home to Shish, sweet Shish. Since Amy moved in, we've done an annual Polar Bear Dip. Most places do this in January. That would require us to drill a hole in the ice, so we do it on a sunny day in August. The water isn't freezing, but it's pretty dang close. This year we had several new teachers, along with some friends of the pastor to help us out.

Once we were all settled into our houses, our staff, along with Gabell and Stebbens were whisked off to Savoonga for additional training. We're on a grant for school improvement this year, and there are requirements involved. While there, we were given shirts, hats, clappers, silly putty, whoopee cushions, and an assortment of other things to keep us happy while we learned the new programs. At "graduation," we were asked to dress in our matching hats and shirts. Here is a picture of Erick (who wrote Nacho on his name tag the first day, so now we call him that) and Amy with me at SVA.

Back in Business

2011-09-03T11:38:00.002-08:00

As it turns out, I am unable to be logged into my personal Google account, where I can write on this blog, at the same time I am logged in to my school Google account, which we use to do our attendance (through Goggle docs, it's awesome. But maybe they're getting a little too much control of my life? Nah).

The first week of school is now officially over. So here's the update from Summer:

Several areas of The Church have realized that there are a lot of single people between the ages of 30 and 40, who may not yet be comfortable jumping into the "Single Adult" scene, so they've started a "Mid-Singles Group." And this summer, one of these groups went on a cruise around Seattle. There were also dances, dinners, classes, and games. It was a good time. Mostly, I enjoyed hanging out with my sister, Crystal, and my good buds, Megan, Heather, and Amy. I also got to know Yvonne better, which was great. Also: boys.

The most awesome thing that happened was driving with Crystal down to Utah, so I could meet Kendall for the first time. I know everyone thinks the babies in their own family are the best, but really, the Deighton genes produce some pretty good looking babies. This one is also smart, nice, and strong. All wonderful traits for a baby. She walks, babbles, and dances to Elmo's Song. We had a lovely time.

Also, I started my next class towards my Masters in Humanities. It's the Evolution of Life and Intelligence. There's a lot of Darwin talk, which has been interesting, but unconvincing. Enough said.

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted a real one. In a couple days, I'll get the pictures from training and the first week of school up.

Back to Work

2011-08-15T09:33:00.000-08:00

Okay! So today is the first day back to work after summer vacation. Luckily, my brain has not atrophied quite as much over this summer as I have let it in years past. For example, the year I refused to make any decisions. Someone said, "Get in the car," I got in the car. It was nice, but it made coming back to work REALLY hard.

My online class towards my masters has been going for two weeks now, and I've already turned in a paper, so that helped keep my brain going. Also, playing thinking games on my iPad. (Sure, that sounds good. Let's go with that.)

Yesterday was the 3rd Annual Shishmaref Teacher Polar Bear Dip. And the water was frigid. Believe me. Actually, it wasn't any worse than trying to swim in the ocean in western Washington. And we did pick a day with scattered sunshine, so that helped a little bit once we got back out.

The new schedule for the school year is out, so I thought I'd share it with all of you. Because of the new School Improvement Grant we're in this year, we are doing our usual week of inservices, followed by an additional week of training. To make up for those five days without kids, we're sneaking those days in throughout the school year. So if you see some Saturday school days, that's why.

And in case you were wondering what our weekly schedule will look like, here it is. the blocks that we're doing in the afternoons will all be attended on Wednesday mornings. It's going to be confusing at first, but it should be interesting to see what happens.

Anchorage

2011-08-06T23:30:00.001-08:00

I'm so tired. Welcome Wagon was a success. More to come.

Summer

2011-08-02T08:21:00.000-08:00

Okay, no pictures have been posted. No lists made. No posts entitled clever things like, "I went all the way to Utah and all I got was this crummy toothache."

I'm a bad poster. Unless one realizes that this blog is about my Alaskian adventures, and I haven't had any this summer.

Blogging

2011-06-07T16:40:00.001-08:00

Yeah!! I was able to log in again. Updates about the senior trip as soon as I download pictures.

Waiting

2011-05-21T17:40:00.000-08:00

I've already written once about what "waiting" means here in the bush. Recap: to go to the city to wait for the baby to come.

And a funny update on that: One of Amy's 5 year olds told their mother, in regards to their new baby: "Maybe you should take that baby back to Anchorage." Ahh, sibling rivalry.

But today's post is about the other kind of waiting. The kind that most of us do on a daily basis in a myriad of ways. Specifically, it's about the difference between waiting up here, and waiting over the summer.

Things you wait for, that I don't:

-The car to warm up
-The light to turn green
-Right of way
-Stalled trafic

-Lines at the grocery store
-Lines at the bank
-Lines at the laundromat

-Waiters, plumbers, road crew, tellers, cashiers, etc.

However, there are a couple things I have to wait for. Things that take considerably longer than most of the things you wait for. For example:

-Mail Order Groceries
-Mail Order Clothes
-Mail Order movies, video games, toiletries, Christmas presents, books, and fruit.

On the positive side of that, it's not like I'm actually sitting at the post office that whole time, waiting for my new clothes to come in.

-The dentist to come to town
-Airplanes - but I maintain that my waiting around for three hours wringing my hands to see if the plane is going to make it is far superior to your daily commutes.

I leave Shishmaref in a week, and all of my non-waiting will go away, and I'll join you all at the drive through. I'll be the one in the white pickup truck, with an exasperated expression on my face.

Last Day of School

2011-05-19T09:15:00.000-08:00

Good Morning Everyone!!

Today is the last day of school for the students of Shishmaref School, for the 2010-2011 school year.

And I want to cry.

Usually I'm tired, cranky, and ready to be gone. Usually, I'm so fed up with my seniors that I'm glad to see them leave. I think they build in that 18-year-old attitude so we don't feel bad about them leaving. Unfortunately, this year everyone was sweet, kind, diligent, and hard-working. And I'm going to miss them!!

Actually, as I sit here, my first period class is coming in, and getting their work out to finish up and turn in before class is over. This is the LAST DAY of school, and we're on early release, and every other school in the country is cleaning out lockers, scrubbing white-boards, and taking down bulletin boards.

I'm not saying that isn't happening here. Brandi, for example, turned in her big, honking research paper yesterday, and I just didn't have the heart to make her start a new assignment. So today she's going to fix book shelves and put stuff away. Poor kid.

And while the rest of the school districts in the U.S. are having trips to the zoo, field days, and outside recess, we are still surrounded by this:

Sheesh. That's all I have left to say about this snow.

Since when?

2011-05-17T17:51:00.000-08:00

I once had the opportunity to travel to Elim, to visit a friend, Anna Squires (soon to be something else!!!!)

Their teacher housing has been made by gutting the old school, and building apartments in it. The old offices are now itinerant housing, and the old kitchen is now group storage. The other rooms got split up into bedrooms and had bathrooms and kitchens added to make apartments.

In the old school hallway, which is still the apartment hallway, one of the teachers hung up a big piece of poster-board, and they would write down when someone said something funny or insightful. One quote in particular caught my eye, and went something like this:

For the 2nd highest paid group of teachers in the country, we sure do dress like we're homeless.

I try to maintain a little dignity, but he's got a point. I've seen more sweat-pants, tattered t-shirts, and gym shorts on staff here than at any office or school I've ever seen.

Several of the principals have realized this too, and have started imposing dress codes on us. Usually the basic: No holes, stains, tears, inappropriate logos, etc. As long as I can continue wearing denim skirts and embellished t-shirts, I'll be fine.

I hadn't really thought about this much lately, but today, while on Facebook (after 4, of course) I saw an ad on the side of the page:

Um, is this what you guys think we look like? And this ad isn't even for "stop being a cannibalistic serial killer and become a teacher" kind of people. No, this one is for CURRENT teachers, looking for their masters.

Classes USA, if this is the sort of person you're trying to attract, I will not be calling you. Ever.

When I Get Home

2011-05-13T09:23:00.000-08:00

-Watching the game with my dad (Which game? Don't care. Just wanna be there.)

-Facebook during daylight hours

-Going out to eat with friends

-Attending church

-Drive Thru

-Radio

-Laundry in my own house

-Driving my truck

-Meeting new people

-Going to other towns on a whim, with no calling ahead to make sure their is room on the plane.

-Beaches that aren't covered in ice

-An abundance of accessible, fresh, and reasonably priced produce.

I can't think of anything else right now, but I'm sure more will come to me. SUMMERTIME!! Here I come.

And for those of you not yet in the know, this is as picture I took this morning, Friday, May 13th, at 8:40 a.m. There is a bit of a puddle started between the houses there, and the snow is pretty slushy, but there's still FEET and FEET of the stuff. I just want some solid ground to walk on. Is this too much to ask?!?

An Ode To Facebook

2011-05-11T00:24:00.000-08:00

Dear Facebook,

You are like a friend. A true and good friend. And not only do you know me, but you know my family, friends, colleges, and acquaintances. Even the ones who have never heard of each other. You are there to pass on information about all of them, like a gossipy mutual friend.

You will show me someones entire summer vacation photos, with captions. Or, I can ignore all of them.

You keep track of birthdays, anniversaries, and current e-mail addresses. You know when people cut their hair, get engaged, and go on vacation.

You allow me to send birthday messages, condolences, and funny remarks with little to no effort.

Thanks for keeping me connected to the outside world. And thanks for letting me keep track of my kids here at home.

Love you,

Colleen

Almost Done. Halfway. Almost Halfway Done!

2011-05-08T17:08:00.000-08:00

I'm in the process of turning in a paper right now. It's "Loading." So I thought I'd wander over here and say hi to everyone.

As soon as this paper is done, I only have one more 15-20 page paper due for this class. And when this class is done, I'm officially halfway done with my Masters degree. Which is nice. It involves a pay raise, and the overwhelming feeling of being done with it. Once I get up there on the pay grade, I can coast for another five or six years before I have to worry about moving up the pay scale again.

Not that I'm doing it for the money. The raise i get is negligible considering what these classes are costing, but in the long run, it will be profitable.

The real reason I'm doing this is because I've never really not been taking a class. After college, I had to take the Alaska history and multi-cultural classes. Once those were done, I was senior advisor by myself, which occupied all my time. And once that was done, I was at a loss. Sure, I was the cheer coach, but what was I to do with myself in the evenings and weekends? I'm just not comfortable vegging. Once this class is done, I'll have the summer to chill, and run around like a crazy person. The next class starts the first of August, then it's back to the grind-stone.

10 Ten Reasons. . . Grown-Up Version

2011-04-26T19:54:00.000-08:00

My previous students have been stopping by the school lately. I've been told repeatedly that they miss school, and wish they could come back.

The funniest part is when they used to tell me how the couldn't wait to be a grown-up, and do all the grown-up things they wanted. Well, here's a couple lists about being a grown-up, from yours truly.

Why Being a Grown-Up Isn't All It's Cracked Up To Be:

1 Can't call mom and dad to bail me out when I screw up.
2 Have to make my own doctors appointments.
3 Sure, I can go to sleep when I want, but I have to get myself up too.
4 I can no longer use the phrase "I'm just a kid" when I get in trouble.
5 I can buy anything I want, but actually have to deal with the bills.
6 Paying for insurance.
7 I get a big rebate on my taxes, of course, I have to pay taxes.
8 No one is here to take care of me when I get sick.
9 I can cook anything I want for dinner, but I have to wash all the dishes.
10 I get paid sick days, but it takes more work to be sick than to just go to work.

Why Being a Grown-Up Is Awesome:

1 Cake for dinner.
2 Get to win the mayo vs miracle whip.
3 Unilateral control of the remote (well, as long as you live alone, or with 3 dogs).
4 If I'm sick, I don't have to convince anyone of it, I can just call in.
5 Don't need a note from my mother to buy something/ go somewhere/ come in late.
6 Set your own bedtime.

Sorry guys, that's all I've got.

What I would like to do is kick things...

2011-04-25T18:27:00.000-08:00

...but because I'm at school, I will simply share this with you, devoted fan:

-Teachers are not stupid, nor are we blind. We see the cheating, the cell phones, and the notes being passed around.

-We are not "out to get you" or "picking on you unfairly."

-We understand how important your friends are, but will not let you put them before your education while you are in our room. If this means you get moved to another table, so be it.

-We are human. Sometimes we get tired. Sometimes we get grumpy. Sometimes we spell a word wrong on a letter home. (Sometimes we sign letters as the "Cheer Coack" ) It doesn't mean we care for you less, it just means we're busy.

-We don't appreciate comments about how it must be nice to have summers off. I consider summers as compensation for all the 60 - 80 hour work weeks I put in during the winter.

-Just because I hold a position of authority in the school does not mean I should be the one to "tell those kids over there to sit down." If you want them to sit down, tell them. Or tell their parents.

-We get the dirty joke. We've just trained ourselves not to laugh until we're out of earshot.

-We are fully aware that you are trying to drag us off topic. We see through your whole bag of tricks. However, sometimes we would rather talk about prom plans than particle objects too.

-We don't like research papers either. But they have to be done. So let's not drag it out any more than we have to.

-Weekends are my weekends too. As are early outs, and holidays. Please don't come in on Monday morning and ask me if I've graded something you turned in on Friday afternoon. I haven't.

-I get to have pop/coffee in the morning/ during class/ at my desk because I have a bachelors degree, and am an employee of the school. When you accomplish one of those two things, I'll let you wander around with pop in the morning too.

-I will give you all the pencils, paper, markers, and crayons you want. Please leave the pens in my desk alone. I only have 12, and I'd like to keep them. If you want pens, buy your own.

-Sometimes I just want to sit down and watch the funny things at the assemblies without spending half my time trying to get you to pay attention.

Most of these things do not apply to most students. Most of these things don't happen on most days. But sometimes they do, and then I just want to kick things.

Spring Carnival

2011-04-21T09:06:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I've been neglecting you, devoted fan. And I'm sorry. Apparently not sorry enough to write sooner, but sorry nonetheless. (Is that really one word? Spellcheck says it's one word.)

Over Spring Carnival, we took in almost $10,000 working in the kitchen. It could have been more had we gotten more pizza, and nacho cheese. The pizza had to do with the big store not having more when I went in there last time, and the nacho cheese was an oversight in ordering. However, we didn't start running out of anything until Saturday, including nacho trays, which made life interesting. By the end of the day, we had run out of:

Burritos
Ice cream
Pizza
Nacho cheese
Nacho trays (does anyone want to buy some tortilla chips?)
Bags of Doritos
Peanut M&M's (actually, almost all of our candy. We simply have one box of Milky Ways, and three boxes of Nerd Ropes, and some giant jawbreakers)
Gatoraide, pop, juice, flavored water, regular water, tiki punch, and anything else for drinking.
Popcorn bags, (so we bought some cotton candy bags off the 8th graders) followed by popcorn seed. (does anyone want to buy a gallon of popcorn oil?)

We still have several hundred paper plates, red and white food trays, corn dogs, a gallon of regular oil, and a 50 lbs bag of flour. Looks like we should make some maple bars. Oh, wait. We raffled off our brand new bottle of maple flavoring.

The kids are exhausted. I'm exhausted. Our supplies are exhausted. The cash box is a giant fatty. (Not really true, we turned the money in. Don't break in to the school, it's not here anymore.)

Now all we have left to do for the senior trip is buy some plane tickets, and pay the rest of our trip fee. I'm super stoked. Or at least I will be, once I catch up on my sleep.

That time of the year, again.

2011-04-07T23:13:00.000-08:00

Well, as I type this, at 10:30 at night, it is still light out. It'll be light out until almost 11. I won't see that, since I'm already in bed (more because Amy is gone, and there's internet in here, but let's all pretend it's because I'm concerned with my sleep habits.) When I woke up this morning at 7:30, it was light outside.

And what does this mean? Pretty soon is will be light until midnight. And starting on that day, it will be light from before I wake up until after I go to sleep. Good-bye darkness. It is always best, when flying from Nome to Anchorage, to be sitting near someone else whose been living up here as long as I have. The day trippers don't realize how living with no darkness can mess with one. When the phone rings at three in the morning, but it's light outside, I get all sorts of discombobulated, and fear that I've slept into the school day.

I know that I've probably talked about this before, but it's the time of the year when this affects everyone up here. When I was locking the door for the night a while ago, I saw a bunch of 10-13 year old girls walking around outside. Since it was still light outside, their internal clocks had not yet told them to go to bed.

And, because I haven't posted many pictures lately, here's one of a couple girls trying on prom dresses at my house today:

Adventures

2011-04-01T10:12:00.000-08:00

I occasionally walk into the neighboring classroom and announce to Bob, "You will not believe this adventure I just had." And he sort of sighs and asks, "What happened this time?" So then I spew my craziness all over the room with my ranting and tearing up and wild hand gestures.

Today, to save Bob from this little slice of crazy, I'm going to share my Alaska adventure with you. Besides, isn't that the point of this blog? To let everyone down there feel better about not living up here. So here goes:

Because I like shopping for pretty things, and because I feel bad for my girls when they buy clothes online that are the wrong size and too long, I have started hitting thrift stores in the summer and buying prom dresses. Then I ship them up here, and sell them to the girls, pretty much at cost.

I have no real reason to keep these dresses in my house all year. Instead, they got boxed up and put in an external storage shed when we moved into the house, and they've sat there quietly for the last six months. Yesterday I decided it was time to dig them out. Prom is in 6 weeks, and if girls are going to try on dresses and buy one instead of ordering, it needs to happen soon.

When I went outside to open the door, I found a snow drift blocking my way, which, while anticipated, was less than thrilling. As I dug out the snow, some of which had frozen into chunks of ice, I realized that the job wasn't going to be as hard as I had first assumed. The actual door to the shed is built off the ground a bit. Under the snow there are actually two steps going up to the opening. This allowed me to get the door open without having to dig down to the ground, which saved a TON of time.

I got the first tup out just fine. Then I took a break, went to a birthday party, watched an episode of Bones, and waited for Amy to come home. She told me that while she showered, I should go get the rest. I told her I'd rather sit on my aekucq and play video games. (You can translate that one all on your own.) She reminded me that I'd have to do it sooner or later, so I gave in.

Tubs two, three, and four had no problems at all. However, when I went back to close the door, my foot hit a soft spot. I'd broken through the top layer of ice, and hit the powder below. I sunk in to at least my knee, and I was only wearing a skirt, so it was bare skin on snow.

I gave a pretty primitive howl, and the began to assess the situation. I was able to scoot my other foot back under me, get it on some solid ground, and pull myself out of the hole. My boot even came up with me. Not like the time my foot fell in a hole and my boot stayed behind and I had to have a kid run to my house and get my shovel and did my boot out because it WOULD. NOT. BUDGE. Nope, not this time, the boot came out too.

Unfortunately, I hadn't actually laced my boot up as tight as I could have. Mostly because I hate tying them, and this way I can slip them on and off like big comfy slippers. That big comfy slipper theory also means that when I sink my foot into three feet of snow, some of that snow is going to get in the boot. Also, some of the chunks of ice that I fell through.

I got my foot and boot out, locked the shed door, grabbed the tubs, and made a break for the house. (Okay, the front door was only like 15 feet away, but I had snow in my boot!) As soon as I got into the arctic entry, that boot came off. Once I got into my house proper the other boot came off, and I went to sit in my chair with my feet tucked under me.

Once I'd warmed up, I thought I was able to put the whole thing behind me. And I was, until this morning. I got up, got dressed, and was putting my first boot on when I remembered that I'd left my other boot out in the kunituq (arctic entry). When I went to get it, I was rather bluntly reminded that the temperatures in the arctic entry reflect the external temperature of the world, and not the internal temperature of the house, and to make a really long story short: There was snow in my boot when I tried to put it on this morning.

I scraped out all I could, but it was still a pretty wet, cold walk to school. As soon as I got into the building, I pulled that boot off, and walked to my classroom with a boot in my hand, and one on my foot. It's nice to know that I switch into my sandals every day while I'm at school. If I had to wear that wet boot all day, I'd be rather sad and grumpy.

Today's dose of crazy is brought to you by the Cabela's, snow, and Mountain Dew.

Scared there for a minute.

2011-03-30T10:41:00.000-08:00

When I logged on to the internet this morning, I got the black screen of death. The one that says the content I am trying to access has been blocked.

This has happened before here in the district. I go every day to to thehungersite.com every day and click the button to help feed the poor, provide mammograms for women, and books for children. Sometimes I even visit the sponsors and buy things. Last year, when the district decided it was time to reset the parent controls, that site became blocked, because one of the tabs is the breast cancer site. I had to go to the library and see if they would un-block it. It's not like I'm a 17 year old boy looking up pictures. I'm trying to do a slightly good deed for women in need. (And since that rhymes, it must be true.)

When I got the black screen on blogger this morning, I was sad. Today is my 147th post. I had plans to keep this thing going for a while. Luckily (and obviously) when I checked it just now, I was able to get in. Crisis averted.

You may be asking yourself: But Colleen, if you're writing about not being able to get on, what were you trying to get on for?! And the very simple answer: umm, pictures of poorly decorated cakes. Yup, that's my level of humor right now.

Break is over, back to work.

Parka

2011-03-22T09:11:00.000-08:00

Okay, so my Parka (pronounced par-kee) is almost done!! I bought the velvet, trim, lining, and wolverine pelt, and Ruby Jones put most of it together, but wasn't up to piecing the ruff together out of the pelt I had.

So one Mrs. Bessi Sinnok took on the challenge. She pieced it together like a pro, and now when I walk outside, my face stays toasty warm.

She's going to put a layer of trim on the bottom, so I can be a true Inupiaq, and I'm pretty excited about that.

Here's a bad picture of me with my hood up:

Last One, I Promise

2011-03-14T10:22:00.000-08:00

This will NOT become a "whine, whine, whine, I'm old" blog. It will continue to be about my adventures in Alaska, and my students, roommate, night time phone stalker, the dude that brings our Snack Shack food, pilots, fellow teachers, and Northern Lights.

So this is the last post about my birthday, and how the media hates me. (See previous post) I was on The New York Times, finding out if a man was REALLY dead at his desk for 5 days before anyone noticed. (Answer: no, that's a hoax), when I saw this ad:

Now, I happen to have a birthday that falls between 1920 and 1990, in fact most of the people I know do. As long as one is over 21, (and under 90) they fall into this category. There are 22-YEAR-OLD GIRLS who fit into this category. And yet, look at that picture. Do they think they're going to lure me away from my old car insurance (which I don't even have, because I live in Alaska, where I don't drive) with pictures of a 60-YEAR-OLD MAN?!? And no, I don't believe that man is 55. He is obviously significantly older than my parents, and they're not anywhere near 60 yet.

Okay, enough ranting. I had a lovely birthday weekend, even though one of my hours was stolen via daylight savings. Amy made me a cake, we ordered chinese food, played games at the pastor's house, and generally hung out. It wasn't the labor intensive and hectic weekend it could have been if we'd thrown a traditional Shishmaref birthday, with 6 cakes, 5 pies, three bowls of jello, cinnamon rolls, and juice, but a girl doesn't need that every year.

Amy, Kiley, and Kevin all have summer birthdays. We're thinking about throwing them a party after school gets out for the year. It's also a good way to get rid of all the rest of the eggs before we leave.

29, part 2

2011-03-11T16:22:00.000-09:00

Okay, so my birthday is Sunday. And, just to rub it in, the pop-up ads are making fun of me.

I don't care if I am turning 30, that boy just looks a little too responsible and grown up for my taste.

Cookies

2011-03-09T16:41:00.000-09:00

There are many things I miss about the general United States when I live in Alaska. Radio stations, driving my car, fast food, not carrying my laundry to another building to wash it, drive-in theaters, getting items the same day I pay for them, comparison shopping, buying shoes for their cuteness, and not just their cold weather rating, etc. etc. etc.

Today a small piece of the lower 48 came up to Shishmaref. A piece that I hold very dear. Now, when Amy's cousin's cousin brought us oranges and crescent roll dough, we were pretty stoked. These are items that we can't just buy at the local store. We could buy them in Nome, though. But that's not what I'm talking about. What I'm discussing is something that one can not simply pick up. It requires planning, forethought, and patience (things I don't currently have).

What came was this:

That's right, devoted fans. Mr. Dennis Davis, the biggest Eskimo I've ever seen, brought us Girl Scout Cookies. The kids tried to tell me I should share, because they were "hungry." Puh-lease. One does not eat Girl Scout Cookies out of hunger. One eats them because they are a little bit of American culture, and are slightly magical.

The kids don't understand. They can't. It's not their fault, but I'm not going to give up my box of Samoas to teach them.

Superstisions

2011-03-01T13:18:00.001-09:00

Apparently, I've made an Eskimo faux paus. (Crystal, how do I spell that?) There are many superstitions I've long been aware of, but yesterday, I screwed up again. So in a couple minutes I have to go beg forgiveness and do the appropriate thing to get the bad luck taken away.

Before I explain this weeks screw-up, let's take a moment to look at some other pieces of information I was completely unaware of before I moved here:

-If you whistle at the northern lights, they'll come down, tear your head off, and play kick ball with it. (This may have a little more to do with irritated mothers, but who am I to judge?)

-If you chew gum while pregnant, your baby will drool.

-If you raise your hands over your head while pregnant, your baby will get his cord wrapped around his neck. (oh, I see what you did there ladies. I don't want to reach up to the top shelf either.)

-The little people are real, and have powers. Don't mess with them.

There are others, but none are jumping to mind. With no further ado, this weeks' fiasco:

I was in the bilingual room, looking for one of my kids, so I could make him shovel snow, and I struck up a conversation with Bessi, the sewing and culture teacher. She's married to Warren the maintenance man, whom I love.

I was pestering our kids, and we ended up in a conversation about how I can't seem to keep ahold of any of my classroom scissors, and how several of the ones she has look rather familiar to me. Then I picked up a pair, and cut a loose string off my shirt.

Umm, apparently, that's very bad. Like, very, very bad. Shorten one's life bad. One is to remove the garment, and cut the string, or maybe have someone else do it for them. So now I'm in trouble. I was told that the only way to reverse the bad luck, and extend my now shortened life, will be to have someone sew on my clothes WHILE I'M WEARING THEM!! Luckily for me, I have a skirt with a one inch tear down near the floor. So I'm going to head back into the bilingual room, and let one of the kids put a couple stitches into my skirt. Firstly, this will reverse the curse. Secondly, hey, I have a rip in my skirt that I was going to sew up anyway, just not, you know, while I was wearing it!

So here I go, ready to beg forgiveness, and thread.

UPDATE: I am now cured of my curse.

I know that this may seem silly to everyone reading. I get that. When I first got here, I scoffed at pretty much all of these things. While I don't much hold with most of them, I find that I am much less likely to dismiss them out of hand.

For example, Uncle John (carving teacher, also, the man who owns my house) told me that if one had a tear in their clothing, the cold air on the skin could cause frostbite to that area, or even death, if untreated. And, since most people didn't have more than one change of clothes, or were unwilling to get naked in winter, it was necessary for one to have a friend sew up the hole. From this point of view, having someone else sew up your clothes while your in them would, in fact, lengthen one's lifespan.

I'm not saying I believe. I'm just saying that I don't not believe as much as I once did. Besides, I got a tear in my skirt sewn up by someone else, so that's always a bonus.

Getting Sick

2011-02-26T14:31:00.000-09:00

I find the world we live in to be absolutely amazing. And here's how I know: I got strep. Now, the average person would not necessarily equate getting sick with this great world we live in, but I've recently seen two sick people, and the differences between their illnesses has really struck me.

On Friday, after getting home from the ball-games, I found Amy with a grumpy look on her face and a need for sleep.

Saturday, while I was feeling good, Amy got sicker. Her temperature jumped to over a hundred, and she couldn't really get out of bed, and she didn't eat, and her tonsils were swollen. Now, if we were state-side, she could go to a regular doctor, and get treatment, but we were in Bush Alaska, and the clinic wasn't open, so she just suffered through it.

Same thing on Sunday, where her fever jumped to over 102, and I had to come get her socks out of the dresser for her.

Monday was Presidents day, so no clinic. I woke up with a tickle, but that may have been due to a stuffy nose and sleeping with my mouth open. I didn't feel bad, so I got on a plane, and headed in to Nome. I was overly tired that evening, but that may have been because of the travel, and the 20 kids we were chaperoning, etc.

Tuesday was a different story. I was sick. Like, really sick. The length of time we were required to stand up for the national anthem about did me in. So I headed to the clinic, waited two hours, got a shot of penicillin, and went back to bed. I slept most of the afternoon, and drank my fluids.

I woke up this morning feeling tired, but not really sick. However, I'm still here in Nome, because the planes are not flying. And since I'm not contagious starting at about noon today, I'll be back on duty this afternoon.

The idea that I could go from a tickle to fully recovered in 48 hours just blows my mind. I mean, how long does it take to get over the chicken pox?

It boggles my mind to think of people getting strep throat before we'd figured out antibiotics. Being as sick as I was for a week or two until my own natural defenses fought back would have been bearable, but could have killed me, if it had gotten bad enough.

I feel really bad that Amy was sick for three days before she could even get to a clinic, and i was only sick for a day.

And now I sit, or lay, as the case may be, a day after my shot, and I'm no longer contagious, just REALLY tired.

Waiting

2011-02-17T16:51:00.001-09:00

When I was younger, like 15, I got sick at school. I was too young to have my own car there and too far from home to walk, so I had to call my mom to come get me. But she wasn't home. I racked my brain, and called our family emergency contact person. After all, that's what they're for, right?

She came and got me, drove me home, and made sure I was safe inside.

But what does that have to do with living in Alaska, you may ask? Today we are experiencing a white-out. It's not as bad as the one we had that caused us to cancel school, but it is bad enough that one cannot see 50 yards out.

The preschool has to sign their kids out to parents every day, but today, because of this storm, every kid in the elementary side had to have a parent come get them. They all called home, and parent poured in by the truckload. Okay, so we don't actually have enough parents to "pour" them, and there aren't really any trucks on the island besides the ones owned by the school and store. But you get my drift.

Elementary school gets out at 3:30, and at 4:10, there were still two kids sitting in the office, waiting for a mom. I feel for them, I really do. That is a feeling of abandonment that I never want to live through again.

But that's exactly what's going on. A grandpa came to the preschool and picked up one of the kids, and an hour later, they still hadn't made it home. The cop was called, and a search party was sent out. Now we sit and wait. And this is the part where we wait. And hope. And pray.

UPDATE: They're home!

Cop out

2011-02-10T13:16:00.001-09:00

Okay it once again time for. . . WEIRD STUFF MY KIDS SAY!!

Today we have two contestants, let's meet them now:

Zander is a 16 year old boy from Shishmaref who's on the leadership team, the basketball team, and is adored by most of the middle school girls.

And our contender, Austin, a 16 year old boy from Shishmaref who's on the leadership team, the basketball team, and is . . . wait. Haven't we already read this intro? Oh, They're also best friends. Good to know.

With no further ado, boys, give us your best lines. Zander, since you're, umm, taller, you get to go first:

Me: "If you could metamorphosis into anything what would it be? Would you go into your cocoon and come out with wings? Or 8 feet tall? Or breathing fire?"

Zander: "Yeah, twice."

Okay, that's very funny, Austin, you're going to have to bring the heat to beat this:

Discussing hyperbole: "Like when I open a cupboard, and a notebook falls out, and I yell, 'I could have been killed!' Could I really have been killed?"

Austin: If it had a knife in it.

Oh, good one Austin. I'm going to have to vote for your quip.

How about the rest of you. Go ahead and vote in the comments for the ridiculous statement you like the most!

Working on my masters.

2011-02-09T18:51:00.001-09:00

Last week, I was working late, and Amy asked me to come home and play, instead of work. I told her I would if she could answer me one question, and she agreed. So I gave her the prompt for the paper: · "Compare Grendel’s encounters with Hrothgar to Beowulf’s encounters with Hrothgar." Her response:

Well, I think it’s complicated on both fronts, but more complicated for Beowulf, since he had a thing for Hagar, and wanted to get him into bed, but really, it was bad on all fronts. Okay, you’re done, let’s go home.

I remember a time before I started working on my masters. I just don't remember it well.

Superbowl Sunday

2011-02-06T12:21:00.000-09:00

So, it's Superbowl day. Facebook is all abuzz with news of the football game. I, however, don't care.

AT. ALL.

And that's probably a good thing, since we don't have cable here in our house. This was mentioned a couple times during Sacrament meeting today at church, and how people were just as happy without it.

Now, I'm not saying I don't watch "my stories." I'm just saying I can't flip between them. Between Amy and myself, we probably own close to 30 seasons of TV on DVD. Everything from Big Bang Theory to Law and Order.

One of the things I like most about having TV on DVD is watching the extras, and directors commentaries. Also, I can hit "stop" and pick it up again later. Missing the commercials doesn't hurt either.

Mirrors are not our friends

2011-02-02T01:01:00.000-09:00

Okay, so occasionally, I like a mirror. Like if I feel like putting make-up on, or when I brush my hair, so I don't hear my mother's voice in my head saying: "Brush your hair, people will think you're an orphan."

Today, however, I noticed something in the mirror I never had before: the beginnings of CROWS FEET. Of course, I was smiling when I saw them, so I chalked them up to laugh lines. Then I relaxed my face, and they were STILL THERE!!

My mom turned 30 when I was 4, so I have little memory of just what it was she looked like. I can tell you this: I don't remember her looking old when I was tiny.

When I was in 8th grade, one of the possible electives was walking over to the elementary school we shared a field with, and TA-ing in one of the classrooms. I couldn't have been more than 13 when I was walking with a friend one day. We were discussing my great-great-aunt who had just passed away at 93 years old. (This is how the memory goes. If the math is wrong, blame it on my soon-to-be advanced years.) I remember thinking that to live to 93 would be quite the undertaking, and what would one even do with all that time.

Then I tried to think about doubling my life, and making it to 30. The thought was almost unfathomable. It's sort of like the flying cars we were promised. That's never going to happen. Or like the year 2015. Like that's a real year. I could just not imagine making it to 30. Or, if I did, I wouldn't be where I am now. I had plans, goals, things to accomplish.

Sure, I've done some of them. I have a degree, a career, and I've seen some pretty cool stuff. But I'm sleeping in a rented bed, in a rented house, far, far from Washington. And I'm sleeping here alone.

Church in the Bush

2011-01-30T12:35:00.000-09:00

Amy and I only had a couple plans for yesterday, it’s just that every plan took longer than planned, and we finally crawled into bed at about 4 a.m.

Luckily, I have a very short commute to church. In fact, I have church over the phone. And as such, my commute is simply an 18 number code away. (19 if you count pushing the mute button. I count it, it’s important.)

There are some aspects of church, like taking roll, that takes much longer than it would in a brick and mortar building. There are some other things, like transitioning between classes, that takes MUCH less time than it ever did in the family ward back home. Of course, I think the singles ward I went to used to plan a longer break between classes, because their purpose was to marry us off.

Today, I taught Sunday School. And I find that I look at the clock a LOT more on days when I teach. I thought I’d share church with all of you:

9:49 Hit snooze

9:56 Turn alarm off, find red glowing light that signifies the phone.

9:57 Call into church. Dial code. Find out I’m the 6^th person to call in. Be surprised that I’m this early. Usually there are already 24 parties in conference, including me.

10:00 On the dot: start church. Opening song, opening prayer, and 6 minutes for roll call.

10:18 hititng mute for the passing of the sacrament for those families with priesthood holders.

10:23-11:00 two talks

11:01: Closing prayer for sacrament meeting

11:02 opening prayer for Sunday School

11:03 Start lesson

Freak out a little because I don't think I have enough material to take up the time to 11:40.

11:08 Realize that I hadn't asked for any group participation. Ask for help.

3 helpers!

Heave a sigh of relief that I didn't get cut off, and had been talking to an empty phone-line.

11:15 Unsolicited volunteers!!

11:18 Group Questions- wonderful answers

11:32 Realize that I have too much information left, and not enough time. Start to condense remaining lesson.

11:00 Realize that my time is up, and bare my testimony that I love my Savior, and the truth of the gospel.

11:42 Done! I feel a little guilty for going over, but it was only two minutes. And it's not like I'm letting my class out after the other teachers are, and holding up everyone. After all, we only have the one line, and everyone is on it at once.

11:42 Closing prayer.

11:42 Turning meeting over to Priesthood/Relief Society

11:43 Opening prayer.

Because this is the 5th Sunday, the men and women's auxiliaries are meeting together. We are discussing raising children in the bush, and teaching them the gospel.

I am not the only person online right now. Facebook tells me so. Of course, I can't feel guilty that they see me online, since they're online to see me. I had a similar situation at a thrift store as a child. My mom was looking for second-hand furniture. After all, if bunk beds made it through one set of twins, it's more likely to make it through a second set. I ran into a friend from school, and she was very embarrassed to be seen at the thrift store. She didn't seem to notice that I was there too, but felt the need to make excuses for why she was there.

But I digress.

12:11 A woman in the congregation who has small children is discussing her 8 year old son. I've met him while traveling. He is a pretty awesome kid. Actually, their whole family is amazing. And I love her especially because she comments during lessons, which helps others feel like they can share. Also, she loves Settlers of Catan, and that is also wonderful.

12:27 I feel the lesson wrapping up.

12:35 Closing prayer.

12:35 Hanging up the phone, and leaving my room to wash some dishes.

Thanks for joining me for church today.

Preparation

2011-01-23T19:34:00.003-09:00

Amy makes me open the cans she uses because her family has always had an electric can opener, and hers is on the fritz right now. I told her she needs to learn to use my manual one, but she says she has no reason. What if she gets hungry while I'm gone? "Don't even talk like that." I also told her that opening a can is a valuable skill during the zombie apocalypse, and she needed to know how to do it. And get this, she didn't even know we wouldn't have power during the zombie apocalypse. Silly girl. I asked her what she thought the people running the power company were going to be doing. They'll be at home with shotguns, using their manual can openers to open food. That's what they'll be doing.

Food, and how to get it.

2011-01-20T13:45:00.000-09:00

Amy and I have been on weight watchers lately, so food has become a major topic of conversation, so I thought I'd share some of my Alaska food stories today:

-Since our village has no industry, and sewing and carving do not make enough for a family to survive on, most people here are on government assistance. Which means that on Food Stamp Day, the line at the store is huge. Well, huge for Shishmaref. So maybe six or seven people. I order most of my food, but if I go to the store, I avoid Food Stamp Day, and the day right after. And yes, it should be in capitals, because as a student said, "It's like a holiday that happens every month, and is just about food." So when he sees me on the 1st of the month, he tells me, "Happy Food Stamp Day!" And I respond in kind.

-Speaking of ordering food. The seniors are going to do the annual Valentine cookie-gram this February. I have already run copies of the heart pattern, and cut out about 800 of them. "How?" I hear you asking. Well, I do it four at a time, while talking to my dad on Skype. It makes it go faster. We will be ordering 15 lbs of butter, 20 lbs of sugar, and 50 lbs of flour just for the cookies. Then there's all the stuff for the frosting, and the sandwich baggies to put them in. I've done it before with Saran Wrap. It's do-able, but not for the four of us that are going to be doing it. Sandwich baggies are just faster and easier. These cookies will be delivered on Valentines day to the kids' classrooms, and the teachers will pass them out during the Valentine parties. (Which we are still allowed to have up here, because we don't mind if it has religious connotations or not.)

-I will also be doing a food order. Now that I'm on Weight Watchers, I have to eat breakfast and lunch, and I find that my canned fruit supply is diminishing rapidly. Also, I'm out of flour, and I just can't bring myself to pay local store prices.

-Today we finished reading Shirley Jackson's "The Lottery" in which a small town holds a lottery every year, and the "winner" is stoned to death to insure a good harvest of corn. It's a bit morbid, but most short stories worth reading are. When we discussed how in that time, in that place, those characters believed in what they were doing to ensure their survival, one student raised his hand.

(Aside: My largest class has 12 students. No one raises their hand, especially if they are sitting three feet from me. They just begin talking. I'm working on having them at least address me by name first, so I know that they're talking to me. On this particular student's first day, someone else raised their hand to be funny, and now this kid does it regardless, because he thinks it's funny, or he doesn't know better, or his last teacher made him. I don't know.)

Back to the point: In the story, Tessie is the scapegoat to save the village from starvation. My youngest student raises his hand. And he asks me: "Why don't they just go on food stamps?" And instead of just shutting him down, I asked where the food would come from, if farmers stopped growing it. True to the middle school mentality, he looked at me like I was a crazy person, and responded: "Wal-Mart."

Uh. . . I have no response to that. Okay, I had a response. It's just amazing to see the thought process of a student who has never left the Alaskan Bush. Of course food comes from Wal-mart, silly teacher. Everyone knows that.

Since we're on the topic of food, I think I'll go find the rest of that Diet Mt. Dew I was drinking earlier. (0 points, just in case you cared.)

'

Skills I didn't know I'd need

2011-01-18T11:54:00.000-09:00

When I was in college, we took a Technology in Education class. It was a well-thought out class, with clear goals and reasonable assignments.

We learned to:

-Make spreadsheets, and turn them into graphs.

-Download programs.

-Edit videos.

-Create posters in Photoshop.

And now that I'm a teacher, I find that I have very little need for most of these skills. I'm not knocking them. They're good skills, and for a college with a ton of money and computers, they're great.

In the real world, I use my old Frankensteined overhead projector more than anything else. Not because I can't have a smart-board, or projector. I have a projector. But if I use it, I have to dedicate a laptop to it, and I don't want to give mine up for the job. I could have a smart-board, but I'd have to take everything I have physical copies of, and scan them all. And one cannot simply Xerox a handout into a presentation.

Also, I find that scissors are my number one friend. I find myself cutting things out far more than I ever thought would be necessary. Right now, it's 1,200 paper hearts, for the senior cookie-gram. I'm getting that divot in my thumb again.

And no Excel document will ever beat out my paper gradebook. Partially because the gradebook is more portable, and I can write notes on it, and I can physically stick a sticky-note on it to remind me of something, and I can tuck a student essay between the pages for looking at later.

I love my classroom, and the things I have. As far as schools go, this one is very high-tech, and very affluent. I just would have liked to have figured out how to write on an overhead projector before my first day of school. My teachers always made it look so easy. . .

Pictures of Me

2011-01-15T13:33:00.000-09:00

Okay, so I post pictures of myself on here all the time. Usually involving my different hair colors. I know, I'm obsessive. Leave me alone.

However, if one was to go to facebook, and look for pictures of me, they would see a startling trend started. And it's this: I'm not actually in any of the recent pictures my family has posted of me.

For example, I recently found out that my sister-in-law posted a picture of me. I found this a little odd, considering I hadn't seen her since the summer, and when we were together, I was the one with the camera. So I click on the link. And it's not even a picture of me. It's a picture of my brother holding his baby. Well, yeah, I wanted to see it, but when I rolled over my name, and that little box popped up, it was on her face. Curiouser and Curiouser. Then I scrolled down, and the caption was "Kendall on the phone with her aunt Colleen."

Oh.

Oh my.

And sure enough, it's not her face that has been tagged, but my brother's phone, held up to her ear. This is how I'm going to be known to my niece: Your aunt Colleen who lives in Alaska, mails you books, and is only a voice on the phone.

I understand that if I lived in Seattle, I would have only seen her a couple times by now anyway, but wow. And then, when I looked at the next picture of "me" it was of my sister Randi on the phone with me. Depressed, I looked at the last picture, and found that it was simply a picture of the present Crystal gave my parents. It has six openings, so each kid put a picture of themselves wearing plaid in it. It's a cute concept, and it turned out well, but once again, the sisters got together and took pictures in a park, and I e-mailed mine in.

Contracts came out yesterday. I'll sign. I only have one more year until I'm vested in the retirement program. Also, I have things to finish here, it's hard to find work as a teacher down state-side, and a hundred other reasons, like I genuinely like my kids. I'm just starting to wonder if what I'm getting up here is worth putting the rest of my life on hold for.

Sick and tired of being. . .

2011-01-14T14:11:00.000-09:00

Today, for the first time in three days, I've woken up without wanting to throw up. It's been a glorious feeling.

I've skipped around all day, been overly chatty, nice, kind, and sweet. I find myself getting up to get my own scissors, instead of asking a kid to pass them to me.

I know this happens to me every time I get sick. While I'm sick, I can't even imagine ever not being sick. My memories are tainted by my current feelings. I think about the time we went sledding, and I thought: How did I have the energy to do that? And of course, I wasn't sick when that happened. I'm sick now.

Also, now that I'm better, I quickly find myself wondering what the big deal was when I was sick. Why did I have to stop and rest on the couch just from the effort of getting up and getting dressed?

There was a kid in the gym today who threw himself on the floor in a dramatic gesture. I laughed at him, (which was his plan, I think) and I thought about the energy associated with youth. But it's not just youth. We live our lives, and have our battles, our loves, our hopes and our despairs. It's part of being human. It's a great part, to be sure. But without the emotions, even the overwhelming ones, this trip through life just wouldn't be worth it.

And in the words of Forest Gump: And that's all I have to say about that.

WHERE ARE YOU SUNSHINE?!?

2011-01-11T11:11:00.000-09:00

Yesterday, during 2nd hour, I looked out the window and saw the pink blush behind the city office that meant the sun was starting to come up. I was so excited that it was coming up so early, as 2nd period is pretty early in the day.

Then I remembered that we were having a late start, and it was already 11:30.

*sigh*

The bright blue square is the reflection of the laptop screen in the window.

Coincidence

2011-01-09T12:20:00.000-09:00

As Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory would say: "People without a grasp of large numbers would call this a coincidence."

I was playing around on Facebook a couple days ago, and came across two friends who had each posted some pictures. I found the juxtaposition to be so funny that I took a picture.

Here are two of my friends: Bob Plumber from Skagit County in Washington State, and Harley Huntington, currently of Shaktoolik, Alaska. Unknown to each other, they both posted at the same time two pictures. While these may not look related at all, this is what I took from it: On the left-dietary staple. On the right- how he got it.

Sure, for some it's about driving a car to the store and buying some graham crackers. For others, it's hooking a sled up to a snow-machine, heading out to the tundra, and shooting an animal.

I'm not saying one is better than the other, I just found the difference between how life is lived back home and how life is sometimes lived up here to be funny. Personally, I do most of my grocery shopping online, and then go to the post office to pick it up, so I don't have to drive or hunt for my food.

I'm just grateful that we live in a country of riches, where many different ways of life are accepted, and we have the natural resources to both drive to the store and hunt.

New Year

2011-01-06T10:17:00.000-09:00

Well, we're six days into the new year. Since I made no resolutions, I have none to break. Way to go me.

Here is the upcoming list of things I have to do:

-Work on my masters.
   Taking HUMN 520: Medieval literature. This class started on Monday, and will go for 4 months.
   Taking HUMN 541: The Enlightenment. This class will start Feb 7th, and run for 4 months.

-Teaching Classes.
   Two reading classes, three writing classes, one Life Skills/Career Skills class.

-After school program.
   The woman who ran the after school program is no longer doing it, along with two of the tutors. Kiley and Kevin stepped up to take over the tutoring spots, and I've decided to take over the coordinator job. This mostly involves me passing out snacks, doing paperwork, and ordering supplies for future use. I officially got the job yesterday, so I still have a lot to learn, but I think I'll be okay. It's 10 hours a week.

-Senior Class
   Ball games, valentine day cookies, and planning the senior trip. Some weeks are much more labor intensive than others.

This should be an interesting semester. Who needs sleep?

Some rules, some thoughts.

2011-01-02T23:11:00.000-09:00

My sister once came home with rules given to her by her bishop (I think, that part's not important) in the yearly chastity talk given to Young Single Adult wards of The Church. She was told that there were rules about being with boys, and they went like this:

Three things to look for:

-Alone

-After midnight

-No plan

While on a date with a boy, only one of these things should be happening at a time. It's when a boy and girl are alone after midnight that problems occur. Or alone with no plan. Or. . . you get the idea.

I found this to be an interesting piece of information, and and decided on a rule for my own life: No e-mails after midnight. Things that seem like a REALLY BIG DEAL at one in the morning are not nearly such a big deal by the light of day. This is why I sometimes write an e-mail, and hold off on sending it until after sleep.

This may be why college was such a drama-fest. We did most of our plotting, planning, and gossiping after midnight. I deconstruction of a date at eight in the morning isn't nearly as satisfying as looking for signs of true love at 2 am.

With this small rule at the forefront of my mind, I'm going to write this post right now anyway.

Officially, it's daytime. Actually, it's quarter after 7. But to truly understand the level of crazy I'm coming from, here's my sleep schedule for the last couple days:

Friday: Worked at the school until 2 a.m. Went to sleep at 5 a.m. Slept until 4 p.m. Got up and went back to the school.

Saturday: In a failed attempt to stay up all day to restart my regular sleep schedule, I didn't go to bed until noon, and only slept until 5. Got up with the plan to go to bed again at midnight. At 6:30, I got a call from the popo, as he needed a babysitter at the jail.

Sunday: Haven't slept yet. And with the exception of one bathroom break, I haven't left this room.

While it is "morning," I'm still working on the five hours of sleep I got yesterday. My job is to write, and your job is to excuse anything dumb I say as the rantings of a very, very tired girl. (Case in point: why didn't I think to pack the string-cheese from the house when I agreed to come over here?!)

The year 2010:

-Favorite places:

Sedro-Woolley, Wa

Blue Fox Drive In

Provo, Utah

The Guy House, Anchorage

Anchorage Temple

My pickup truck

-Least Favorite Places:

The Canadian border

The school kitchen at 2 in the morning

Most airplanes

-Favorite things:

Mountain Dew (but really, when is that not a favorite thing?)

Seeing friends and family

Tribal Journeys

Watching some of my favorite kids graduate, get married, have kids, go off to school, and succeed in life. I sure love my babies.

The year 2011:

-I think we're going to have a lot of people freak out about the Mayan calendar. To those people I would like to mention a couple things: Y2K, Swine Flu, Avatar. It's always a lot more hype than anything else.

-Things I'm looking forward to:

Getting paid for this little stint as a member of Shishmaref's Finest.

Going on the senior trip with "ma boyze"

Seeing Kendall for the first time!!

-I would like to eat more fruit in the upcoming year.

How to take a shower in bush Alaska, in 84 steps or less. . .

2010-12-26T02:38:00.001-09:00

While this post has a title implying it is about showering, it is about so much more. So let’s get started, shall we?

Step 1. Go to Drugstore.com and order hair dye.

Step 2. Wait two to four weeks. (Take other showers in the meantime.)

Step 3. Be totally psyched about arrival of previously purchased hair dye.

Step 4. Wait for half an inch of roots show. Also, wait until after the portrait is taken for Mom for Christmas.

Step 5. Laugh when Mom says it’s a good picture because she can’t tell my hair is purple.

Step 6. Open package. Remember the chemical burns from last time. Find gloves.

Step 7. Mix blue powder and clear liquid, apply to brown parts of hair.

Step 8. Freak out a little big, because even though you have put gloves on, you still spilled bleach on your ear, and it burns a little.

Step 9. Take pictures of hair as it lightens.

Step 10. Take a shower, wash out bleach gunk.

Step 11. Take pictures of hair with blonde roots, and purple ends.

Step 12. Prepare purple dye.

Step 13. Answer door at 12:30 in the morning, to find two frozen little girls on your porch. Invite them in.

Step 14. Go back to preparations for applying dye.

Step 15. Get fed up of them begging for purple streaks, and tell them you have to hear the words from their mothers’ lips: "She can have a purple streak."

Step 16. Apply purple dye to all the new blonde parts.

Step 17. Listen to little girl ask permission, then hang up the phone before mom can tell me.

Step 18. Make girl call mom back.

Step 19. Tell small girls that if they can’t pick a spot, they can’t have any.

Step 20. Watch them both decide on bangs, which was your first suggestion.

Step 21. Finish dying your own hair.

Step 22. Make them get foil so it seems like they’re in the movies.

Step 23. Apply dye to two sets of bangs.

Step 24. Wait.

Step 25. Wait some more. Let girls play with iTunes.

Step 26. Take pictures of our hair.

Step 26.B: Realize the camera is dirty. It's not just a lack of glasses that's causing the soft glow.

Step 27. Give the girls the face cleanser that you shipped up to get the dye off their foreheads.

Step 28. Let girls put on mud masks. Laugh at the faces they make as it cracks.

Step 29. Agree to let girls eat BRAND NEW Chicken in a Biskit crackers that were a Christmas present.

Step 30. Tell little girls I will NOT ask my mother to send them each a box.

Step 31. Tell them to stop pigging down my crackers.

Step 32. Decide that whether the dye is set or not, it’s time for little girls to leave.

Step 33. Take them into the bathroom and rinse their hair.

Step 34. Attempt to rinse my own hair. Hear the sputtering that means we’re out of water. And not eventually, but NOW.

Step 35. Wrap hair in a knot, and put on more clothes.

Step 36. Drag beautifully wrapped hose out into the blizzard that has kept me in the house all day.

Step 36 a. Use old coat, as new coat is too pretty to get hair dye on.

Step 37. Drag hose to school.

Step 38. Realize that someone URINATED on the side of the school.

Step 39. Use key to open door to water faucet.

Step 40. Hook up hose with less trouble than normal.

Step 41. Remember that the hose isn’t in the tank on the other end.

Step 42. Go back to house. Put hose in tank.

Step 43. Yell at girls about knocking over brand new Christmas presents, and throwing hair dye covered paper-towels on brand new WHITE toys.

Step 44. Try and use key to turn on water.

Step 45. Make it three rotations before the key refuses to move.

Step 46. Say something appropriate. (or inappropriate, depending on your point of view)

Step 47. Go home, kick girls out for serious this time.

Step 48. Realize school keys are no where to be seen.

Step 49. Borrow keys from neighbors, who are also still up at 1:45 am.

Step 50.Use keys to get into school to get heat gun.

Step 51. Find out the doors to the high school side are bolted shut. Go the long way around.

Step 52. Be unable to find heat gun, go to classroom, and call maintenance man.

Step 53. Be told he is asleep, and get reminded that this is the THIRD time I've asked him for help after 7pm in a week.

Step 54. Give the supply closet a closer look for heat gun.

Step 55. Decide on Monkey wrench when the heat gun can't be found.

Step 56. Try and use wrench to force key to turn.

Step 57. Stop when the wrench starts to torque, instead of the key.

Step 58. Put everything back in the school.

Step 59. Go outside and realize that whatever moisture was in the hose has now puddled in the dips, and has frozen solid.

Step 60. Give neighbors keys back.

Step 61. Haul hose home. Stuff it in storage room because it's too frozen to roll. Kick it once for good measure.

Step 62. Write a blog post about how it's now 2:30 in the morning, my hair has finally thawed, and I am no closer to taking my shower than I was two hours ago.

Step 63. Wrap my head in saran wrap, and go to bed.

Step 64. Deal with this tomorrow.

UPDATE: Even though the Saran Wrap came off my head, my ivory colored sheets have retained their original color, because I laid a towel down over my pillows.

Also, it's now 6:30 at night, and I just found out it's Sunday. So that sort of sucks. Sorry church.

I took a shower at the school this afternoon, then came in to work on the senior store, which will be opening up in about an hour, I think. And then, because it's me, I took a picture:

A Couple Letters

2010-12-24T09:50:00.000-09:00

I posted a letter on Facebook the other day, which garnered some random responses, so I thought I'd post it again here, along with a couple other ones I was thinking of. Warning: I was watching daytime television.

Dear Nebraska,
   If the best your tourism board can do is show people floating down a river in a used cattle trough, and then show people floating down the same river in rubber rafts, and then show people floating down the same river in a boat, you need to give up. That ad is not going to draw anyone to your state. Especially if you show this commercial in ALASKA. We have rivers. Tons of rivers. Please use your tourism dollars for a better purpose. Like letting the company making the commercial travel somewhere besides one boat dock.
-Colleen, Confused

Dear Humane Society,
   While I am not normally against you, I do have a bone I'd like to pick with you: Do not come into my house asking for $19 a month to sponsor a pet. 18 months ago, I TRIED to give you a hundred dollars for a pet, which I would then spend WAY MORE than $19 a month on. (School requires $20 a month for pets in the housing.) But you wouldn't give him to me. Because you said my Alaska job and money and love weren't good enough for you. So you don't get any of it now.
-Colleen, Irked

Dear Dreyer's,
   Your Drumstick ice cream may be the best ice cream I've ever had. It has real pieces of cone, dipped in chocolate in it. That way, they stay crunchy. Awesome.
-Colleen, Satisfied

Dear Whoever Felt the Need to Use My Classroom,
   Why is it that when I came home from being in Nome for a week, I found my classroom open, and people in it? Do you not have your own classroom? Table? Hallway? Why were there unsupervised teenagers in my room? Seriously?
-Colleen, Angry

Dear Microwave,
   I love you. Seriously man, L.O.V.E. love.
-Colleen

Noon

2010-12-06T14:17:00.000-09:00

Today, at 12:38, I took a picture out my classroom window:

Yup, that's the sun, just coming up over the horizon.

So now when my dad tells me I should get up at the crack of dawn and get busy, instead of sleeping in, I can whole-heartedly agree. I need those extra 40 minutes!

Down Under/ Up Over Project

2010-12-03T17:48:00.000-09:00

My 7th hour "magic class" (Life skills, career skills, etc) has started a project with Australian students, where we take pictures and share them with each other.

I am completely stoked about this. I can't wait to see what my kids do.

The first project is a scavenger hunt of basic things. Where we get water, an elder, what we do for fun, something important to adults, etc.

I can see us turning this into a "The Best of Shishmaref" where we only display the nice, pretty, cultural parts of our village. I know our village is dirty, I know sometimes people can be mean. I just hope that we will be able to find a balance between us only showing Eskimo drummers, and what another group did, and only show the sad parts of the village.

On that note, I've decided to post some pictures first, and while there are no rusted out tractors in them, I find them to be accurate. So I've decided to share them here:

Where my water comes from: (well, at least when the school had a glycol leak, and I melted snow)

Local Foods: (yes, it's pizza)

Local Clothing, as modeled by Aaka Huntington, and her son Rod:

Local tradition, Thanksgiving feast:

What we do for fun:

More local foods:

Thankful

2010-11-24T16:03:00.000-09:00

Hello friends and family.

Since Thanksgiving is rapidly approaching, (vacation starts in 18 minutes) I've decided to make a list of things I am thankful for:

-Sharp scissors.

-Full bottles of glue.

-Unlimited Long Distance Service.

-Skype.

-Facebook.

-Cranberry sauce.

-Packages in the mail.

-Finding my keys where I think I left them.

-Finding my glasses in the morning, not right before I go to bed.

-Television on DVD.

-Hulu.

-Getting A's on my classes.

-Project Gutenberg, where I can get my books for free.

-My brand-new staple gun.

-Fuzzy scarves knit by grandmothers.

-People who comment on my blog,

-Other people who post blogs for me to read.

-Having enough food at home.

-Fresh from the dryer sheets.

-King sized bed.

-Books, books, and more books.

-2nd place cheer trophies.

Shocked and Amazed

2010-11-11T11:25:00.000-09:00

Today, while I was taking roll, the senior/junior class got to work. Three of them sat down with their laptops facing away from me. This is against class policy, but I thought I'd give them the benefit of the dobt (or I'm too lazy to confront them).

Then, one of them gets up and walks out of class. Huh.

Turns out he was looking up information for his research paper (whoo!), found a valid source (Double Whooo!!) and printed it off to highlight the important parts (TRIPLE WHOOO!!!)

Do I have some great kids or what?

Cheer Camp

2010-11-06T01:15:00.001-08:00

Well, It's official. I am a cheer coach. I know that for the first several years of being involved with the cheer program in the BSSD I maintained that I was simply a chaperone, and not to be trusted. And then, for a couple years, Mary and I did it together. And last year, I had girls throwing up the entire week of the competition, and just considered it a wash. But this year. This year things were a little different.

For starters, I had 22 girls show up to practice for the first half. After tryouts, I told the junior cheerleaders that I loved them, but we'd have to lay low on practices for a while. And the big girls and I focused on the routines. And we had a horrible go of it. But over this last week, everything clicked together, and we pulled it out.

That's enough writing. Time for pictures:

Here is Kevin, "Chaperoning." Must be nice to be a guy. When a coach has no one wrestling, he and his squad can just sort of chill. Case in point: the next photo.

Conversely, the cheer squad must sit at attention in a row, in full uniform, amongst rows of the other cheerleaders. If they get caught wandering around, they get sent back to their groups. They are not allowed to eat Mr. Freeze in my brand new uniforms. (And you thought this next picture was going to be about the wrestler. Silly reader, you should know me by now.)

One of my cheerleaders from last year decided that she'd rather nap between matches, and left me to be a wrestler. I don't know where she placed, but I'll tell you this: When she got hit so hard she had to go to the clinic later, she lay on the floor for a minute, sobbing, but then got up, shook herself, and finished the match. THEN she went to the clinic where they tut-tutted at her, and told her to take it easy on her ribs for a while. I had no idea she was that tough.

Some of our boys, kicking butt and taking names:

This ref and I bonded, as his rest chair was near my music chair. I even got my own sign that said "Reserved for the music lady" and someone colored the notes. The ref (who has a name and everything, I just don't know it) didn't even get a sign.

Look at these two just attack each other. It was an amazing match to watch:

And in the end, we were victorious. (Okay, those two pictures may not have anything to do with each other, but I think they're the same kid. Looks like the same opponent)

Whoooooo!!!!

Of course, it wasn't all matches and hanging out. We were in Unalakleet from lunch on Tuesday to 5pm on Friday. And that meant sleeping on the floor in a classroom. In classic middle-school fashion, this is how they looked in the morning:

And how they looked when we were trying to get them into bed at night:

I know what you've all been waiting for, so, with no further ado: CHEER STUFF

Asta, Jecca and I found this mount on Youtube. Good job YouTube. No one else did this one, I don't think. There were a lot of pony mounts, and shoulder sits (to be seen later).

I cropped this next one a bit, but can you see how much height Gussie has on this jump. During the workshop, we were told that all arms should be straight, and not in High-V like Gussie has here. Hmm, something to work on for next year.

The adorable ending for Sarah and Tara's routine. I was so proud of the two tiniest girls getting up to do a partner stunt routine together. Usually it's one experienced girl, and one small one (to be the flyer), but these two were great together.

And what did that greatness get them? That's right. . . TROPHIES, Baby!! We got second place for partner stunts. (UNK got first)

During our big routine, The girls tossed Sarah into the air, and this is her coming down (See how Jecca is still smiling? Awesome):

And our grand-daddy pyramid that they did for their final stunt:

And what did that grand-daddy stunt help us get, you may be asking? Well, just this:

And for those of you with really good eyesight: You may be wondering what's going on in that picture on the plaque. After all, there are only cheerleaders up there getting the award. So why is the entire school on the plaque? Yeah, I have no idea either. We're gonna swap it out on Monday, for a picture of just the girls. In the mean-time, our 2nd place dance routine trophy has this picture in it:

Halloween

2010-11-01T18:40:00.000-08:00

Okay, none of these pictures are mine. Yup, I suck just that bad. However, one is of me, so that should count for something.

This is Molly. She teachers 4th grade. And yes, her wings are on upside down in this picture. But they were right side up when I saw her in the gym, so someone must have noticed. I was completely shocked and excited when all the certified teachers agreed to dress up together.

This is Heather (Orf?). She was an emergency room nurse for years, and is up in Shishmaref now. Her husband is the pastor. (People have just started referring to her as "pastors wife", and that's sort of minimizing all she's done in her life). She's wearing parts of my costume here, and has Baby Norman with her. Isn't he adorable too?

Bla bla bla. There I am. In my wings. I've decided: from now on, no one shorter than me is allowed to take pictures of me.

Amy in her costume. I picked that dress out for her this summer. Isn't it ~~horrible~~ wonderful? You don't get the full layer view in this picture, but she's in the parade with the pre-school kids, and they were a little overwhelmed by the parade.

That's Kiley on the left (for those of you who wanted pictures of her) and Kate on the right. They are both wearing long-sleeved t-shirts under old bridesmaids dresses. Well, Kate's has had a little work. Also, it's the one she picked out for her sisters.

Just because I couldn't help myself: Here is Baby Norman, wearing an old costume of one of his sisters. It's too small for him, but he was just sleeping so soundly I couldn't help it.

Kiley

2010-10-24T22:46:00.000-08:00

It has recently been brought to my attention that I don't blog enough about the other members of my staff. So here goes:

Bob: Mr. Robert Young, 45, is the math teacher. He is also my co-senior advisor. He is a kind, good, and decent man. He lives next door to Kiley and Kevin.

Amy: Amy is my roommate. She is wonderful. She teaches ECE, and is creative, funny, and hard-working. Sometimes, she hangs out with Kiley.

Kevin: Kev is a new teacher up here, but not new to teaching, which is nice. His biggest fault so far is that he made me watch some show on A&E where they let Tony Danza be an English teacher. Really A&E? Really? Kev is also the wrestling coach, and is married to Kiley.

Bea and Sue: I know they're not a matched set, but it's quarter to 11 at night, and I'm getting tired. Not only have Bea and Sue been here longer than me, and know more about the village than I do, but they are willing to share that knowledge with me. Also, they were totally stoked about dressing up like fairys for Halloween! (okay, not Sue, but Kiley and I talked her into it, because she is a fun loving, and free-wheeling sort of girl.)

It feels like I'm missing someone. Oh, right Kiley: Ki is my exercise buddy, the new sped teachers on the elementary side, a bottle blonde/brunette, one funny drunkard, pretty nice to 66% of the dogs in her house, brave, funny, clever, kind, caring, and all around wonderful.

(Okay Kiley, I'd like my $10 now.)

District News

2010-10-19T01:29:00.001-08:00

Since the beginning of the school year, our district has had three suicides. Two were students, one was the father of five students.

On Saturday, a bunch of kids down in Brevig Mission were playing Russian Roulette, and a 13-year-old boy shot himself in the head.

Dear Government,

I can't seem to find the line on your AYP form that asks for an accounting of how our kids are dealing with this. I see the line for attendance, test scores, and graduation. But nowhere on the list is there a place for us to mark down the strides we've made in compassion, understanding, or coping with all the horrors that take place in this district.

Sincerely,
A Very Confused Teacher

Length

2010-10-13T13:30:00.001-08:00

My grandmother recently posted on a picture of my from Facebook, where I had ridiculously short hair. And it's not new, it's very old. So I thought I'd give you all the final of my "I'm trying to grow my hair out" project.

This is the one Gramma saw. From last fall, when I cut Amy's hair, and decided to cut mine too. Look how short!!

Umm, there's nothing wrong with the color, that was a Halloween costume. But look: My hair touches my shoulders again!

Last year, at UNK. Finally growing out enough to both be curly and touch my shoulders at the same time.

Begining of this school year. Just did the color. I guess it was long enough here to count as "long" but I didn't realize it.

Yeah!! Long hair again. Whoo!! And now my roots are growing out, and it's time to fix that, or something.

There is a point to what I'm showing you, and it's even school related: If all the kids who just took the HSGQE (state graduation test) pass all three parts, I'll shave my head. I've been telling them this all year.

They took the test last week. We don't have the results back yet. However, I happen to know that at least one kid didn't even show up for all three, so I guess I'm safe again. I'll cut the same deal for the spring test, which isn't a re-take, it's just the test for the year. Wish me luck. Or wish the kiddo's luck.

Wales

2010-10-02T11:43:00.000-08:00

For those of you who may think Shishmaref is small, I have one word of consolation: Wales.

Wales is our closest neighboring town. Yesterday, while flying from SHH to UNK (or Shishmaref to Unalakleet, for those of you who don't speak in airport codes), we dropped off a girl and picked up two leadership training people from Wales.

I was able to stick my laptop camera up to the window, and take a picture of THEIR ENTIRE VILLAGE. In one shot:

Yup, that's their whole town. And all 152 of them (at the 2000 census) fit into that handful of houses.

So the next time I complain about how far we have to walk to the snack-shack, or about how there are so many people in line at the student store, I just need to be reminded that at least I have people around me.

It's fun the first time

2010-09-27T00:22:00.000-08:00

Okay, here are the pictures:

It's all gone now. We won't get anything serious until after Halloween, but that's not the point. The point is this: IT IS ONLY SEPTEMBER! I'm not even sure where my coat is yet. I am NOT ready for snow.

Surprise, surprize

2010-09-25T16:34:00.000-08:00

It may not have lasted very long, and it may not have been very hard, but today was our first day of snow.

Actual Eskimo News

2010-09-20T11:03:00.000-08:00

Today I was hanging out collaborating with some of the teachers on the elementary side. And I saw Mina Weyiouanna. Mina is an aide in one of the first grade classrooms. (That's right, we have two. It's the only class that has two, because there are so many of them.)

Several years ago, in the wee hours of the morning, I was sitting around with Mina, Bea, Sue, and several other people, at an establishment in Nome. I think we were there for Iditarod.

Susie started calling me "Sunshine," in that sing-song voice from Remember the Titans. So they decided it should be my Eskimo name. And Mina told me what it was in Inupiaq. Now, I wasn't drinking that night, but Inupiaq words are hard for me, so I tried to remember it the best I can, even though I knew my memory was wrong.

In my head, it was something like Mussuq Ongtowasruk. Now, I knew that was wrong, because Mussuq is warm cereal (usually oatmeal) and Ongtowasruk is a last name.

Today, while collaborating, I asked Mina to tell me again, and she did, but refused to write it down, as she didn't know the spelling. So I wrote: musuk twoq. Then, with the help of Uncle John, the bilingual teacher, I got the right spelling:

Mazaq tuaq. Pronounced: Muu-zack Two-ack.

Officially, it means: It is sunny, because there is no translation for Sunshine. But, it's close enough, and it makes me feel special.

Kids say. . .

2010-09-15T16:18:00.000-08:00

Today, I ordered carnival prizes for an hour and a half. (That would be my lunch break, followed by my planning period.) And then my cart showed up empty. So I started over.

While it may be fun to flip through catalogs, doing a complete order (approx. $1,700 worth) is mind-numbing after the first half hour.

And since I have nothing funny or insightful to say today, I've decided to share some of the funny things my kids/past kids/friends have said recently. I started writing them down, because hey, they make me laugh:

-Zander, looking up at the board of research paper ideas: "Joey and Heroin, that's a bad mix."

-Tiffany, who graduated in '09, and who subbed one day at the school: I could go to college and be a teacher. Wait. I don't like kids. I'd probably end up crying in the bathroom during lunch."

-Gussie, one of my adorable cheerleaders, when she was in 5th grade: "Sweety changed at college. She got longer hair and better bangs."

-Elizabeth Guy, a BYU student, who was in Anchorage for the summer: Community colleges are like a high school and a university had a fling. And the high school was so very proud, and the university was so very ashamed.

This last one devolved into ALMOST EVERYTHING being the love-child of other things. IE "This lamp is like if a light and bad taste had a child. . . "

Run down of the day:

2010-09-10T20:23:00.000-08:00

I'm tired. Not just tired, but exhausted. And here is why:

7:30 Alarm clock goes off. Hit snooze.
7:40 Hit snooze again.
7:50 Hey Snooze button, you sure are looking good.
8:00 Think about getting up. Roll over.
8:10 Get up, find clothes to wear.
8:15 Amy comes in to make sure I'm awake. (Isn't she adorable?)
8:30 Clock in
8:45-12:30 Teach school. We seem to be missing a large chunk of our student body. Some are on a field trip, some are just gone.
12:30 Try to find a senior to work in the store. None will. Go have crackers and cheese in my room by myself.
1:00-3:00 Teach school.
3:00-3:30 Go with Bea's class to pick up garbage at the playground.
3:30 Be shocked by how much garbage we were able to pick up in such a short amount of time.
3:35 Help kids fill out volunteer hours. Try to figure out what to do with last 10 minutes of class.
3:38 Sucomb to begging. Let kids play Heads Up, Three Up for last 6 minutes of class. (There aren't enough for 7 to be a viable option. Even with only 3 or 4, most people end up being up front or chosen)
3:45 Reading meeting, in my classroom. Kevin (new) takes the blame for his kids. (Isn't he adorable?)
4:30-6:30 Cheer practice. And more cheer practice. And when that's done, Cheer practice.
INSERT: 4:50 The police officer calls me out of the gym. Because one of the kids I'm going to babysit was involved in an accident. (He was riding on the back of an ATV, when the driver hit someone.) Sit with child while he gives account to police.
6:30 Take babysittee's to their house. Cook them dinner while they do Read and Responds.
6:50 Re-cook the kids' meat because "It tastes like cow meat." Scorch it. They love it.
7:05 Sonny Barr comes looking for me, because we're supposed to be working the senior store.
7:14 Realize I gave Amy my keys, and now I'm locked out of the building.
7:15 Take kids to rec. Take smallest to Senior Store with me, as he's on Rec List. (No open gym)
8:10 Deal with Timary's lost tooth.
8:21 Finish this post. Get ready to clean up, so I can take the kids home.

Remember that place I'm paying rent to keep my stuff in? Right. My house. I miss that.

Update on Life

2010-09-07T08:37:00.000-08:00

I ended up not going to Nome this weekend. Partially because I was just there two weeks ago, and partially because I'm cheep.

Also, I've found that my hotmail account has been spamming people all weekend. If you are one of the recipients of that, I'm sorry. I'm trying to change passwords and things to fix it.

The camera on my laptop has been disabled, and I have no idea how to make it work again. So until I do, no more stupid pictures of my hair.

Yup, looks like this is the dumbest post I've ever done. Soon, I'll start posting cheerleading pictures. I know how much you all love those.

School Supplies

2010-09-01T11:54:00.000-08:00

I would like to start this post by saying: I don't judge your tastes and hobbies. Okay, I do. But I don't make fun of them in front of your face. So for those of you not into this, cut me some slack.

I don't know how most of you feel about school supplies. I happen to love them. Fresh paper, newly sharpened pencils, whiteboard markers that aren't dried out or smashed in. Oh, I'm giddy just thinking about it.

I've already received two boxes of school supplies. They were just the BORING school supplies. Shelf bins, white paper, magnetic clip for my board. (Yeah, umm, I got ONE clip for my board. I thought I'd ordered a dozen.)

Last night, on the other hand, I got in my fun boxes. Full of all sorts of wonderful and amazing things. Not just amazing, but bright and colorful too. And shiny. Some things were shiny. I'm a sucker for shiny objects.

Look how shiny!! I did not just buy this for the shine. I did buy it because last year we tried to put on carnival with push-pins and a hammer. And while I know I didn't pay for this myself, it only cost EIGHT DOLLARS!! I almost spent more than that on staples. I was so excited about this I carried it around this morning, for fear of someone else stealing it from me.

When I opened it, I asked "Uncle" John Sinnok to use his Dremmel to put my name on it. And he did. Awesome!

Look! A 24 pack of Sharpie's. Aren't they pretty? I gave away my 8 pack from before. Partially because it had become a 5 pack, and partly because two of those five were yellow. I'm not sure how that happened, it just did. So these are hiding behind my desk. I can't trust them in the general cupboards.

These are paint pens. They have a sponge of sorts under that round cap. And the best part is: I don't have to send kids to the bathrooms to wash paintbrushes. Mary, the old math teacher (as in "former" not "elderly") bought several different kinds of paint, and this was my favorite, so I bought some more! Cheerleading, here I come!!

Colored paper for poster-making! I got both the brights and the pastels. I know, this post is entirely nerdy. I'm just such a sucker for bright colors. I always feel jealousy around the elementary teachers when they sit down and open boxes of brightly colored pom-poms, stencils, modeling clay, and all sorts of other bright and shiny things. So now I have my own colored paper. Whenever I make signs this year, they're going to be AWESOME!!

This is a fantastic resource book. If you can see the top corner, it says "Grades K-6" but I don't care. It's an entire book of 200+ Blackline Masters. That means I can copy them for my kids. This particular book is full of graphic organizers. I'm so EXCITED!! I know this is nerdy. I just can't contain myself.

And for those of you keeping track of my hair saga:

Dark

2010-08-29T23:50:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure when it started to happen. It was so gradual, and so sneaky I never noticed. Yet here I am, sitting in them middle of it, completely confused about how it happened.

No, I'm not talking about the dishes that need to be done, or the exercise I need to start up again. I am fully aware of how those things happened. I'm talking about the dark.

Amy and I are sitting here at 11:45 on a Sunday night, thinking about going to bed, and it is DARK outside. Not just "sunset" but really dark. Like night-time. This is a bit depressing for me. I bet it'll still be dark until 7 or 8 tomorrow morning!

I understand how seasons work. I understand that we are experiencing 6.66 minutes of change every day in the light. That doesn't mean I like it. It also doesn't mean I was paying attention. (I did notice the amount of time we change every day, don't think THAT little piece of information slipped past me.)

Now, it's not like I want to be out running around at midnight. I actually like it dark in my room while I'm sleeping. The dark also encourages the kids to go to bed on time. It's just that with the dark coming earlier and earlier, it means that hibernation time is fast approaching. And I don't like hibernation time.

For those not in the know, hibernation time is just what it sounds like. It's hard to get out of bed, hard to be motivated, and hard to care about anything except crawling back into bed.

Logically, I am also aware of the fact that I currently have more light that Washington, Utah, and Myrtle Beach. For three more weeks. On September 21st, we will all be equal. And the day after that, they will have more light than I do until late March. So for everyone that I gloated over when I had light, and you had been in the dark for hours already (Dad, I'm looking at you here) I'd like to apologize. Sorry for gloating. And please send pictures of the sun, I'm going to miss that guy.

On a completely unrelated note, and for those following the hair saga:

We found a piece that somehow missed the dye. Underneath the purple, this is the color of my hair. The purple will eventually fade. That blonde is just going to have to grow out. Or be dyed again:

Hair, day 3

2010-08-25T19:07:00.000-08:00

For some reason, it was today, on Day 3 of this ridiculous hairdo, that people have started questioning my motives for this hair. The two choices I got were: Are you being fashionable, or are you rebelling.

I was unaware that those were my only two options.

Warren, on the other hand, thinks I look like a blueberry eating seagull pooped on my head. Thanks Warren, thanks.

So, after a couple washes, here is the current look:

And when it's not pulled back:

Hair

2010-08-23T10:04:00.000-08:00

For her birthday, I bought my little sister a box of hair dye. Not auburn, or dark blonde, but "I'm mad at my parents" blue, green, and red. We never got around to dying anything, because she wasn't sure how well the Pumpkin Patch (aka Home Depot) would take the colors.

While in Anchorage, I decided that I wanted fun color too. After all, I'm an adult. I can do whatever I want with my hair. So I bought:

And it sat on my bathroom counter. While at Unalakleet for inservice, I ran into Ann-Marie, who, for her 30th birthday present gave herself new hair. Literally. She had it dyed black, then had blue and green extensions attached. It looked really good, and I decided to stop waiting around.

Last night, after Amy left, Kiley and I got together for a little hair dying. She was just doing blond highlights, so we put the cap on her and did the little pull through thing. It worked just like it was supposed to.

My hair started out like this:

And then we bleached stripes in it. I would have taken a picture of that, but my laptop was at the school, and my camera has no memory card. (On that note: Amy, have you seen the memory card for my camera?)

Then we dyed the stripes purple. And when I washed it out, I had light pink stripes. So we dyed it again, and wrapped my head in saran wrap. And at 1, I went to bed.

This morning, I woke up, fully expecting my clear plastic wrap to be off, and my pillow purple (I took the case off, to protect it). I was pleasantly surprised to find it still on, and even happier when I took a shower, and the dye stuck.

So, with no further ado:

And it's not too crazy. And I really like it. I'm a little concerned when the purple dye starts to wear off, and the trailer park blond streaks start showing up again. I may have to re-dye around Christmas.

Chair

2010-08-21T22:44:00.001-08:00

Today, I fixed my chair all by myself with a hammer and two 16-penny nails. And I'm awesome.

Utah Trip

2010-08-11T20:04:00.000-08:00

I would, at this time, like to hand out a couple of awards from my Utah trip. I'm sorry I have no pictures, but it would have been hard to explain to the girl behind the counter just why I wanted her picture, after being frustrated with her for five minutes.

Best Gas Station: The Kicks 66 Superstore in Pocatello, Idaho. Not only did they have the cheapest gas at that exit, but the bathroom was clean, the employees were nice, and the cashier herself chipped in 4 cents so I wouldn't have to walk out of there with 96 cents in my pocket. I hate carrying around 96 cents.

Worst Drive Through: Sorry Layton, but this award goes to you. The Burger King by the freeway not only has a gross excuse for "chicken" but the cashier was incapable of understanding why, for a bill of $6.15, I would hand her a $10 bill, a $1 bill, and a quarter. She tried to give m the dollar and quarter back. I explained that I'd rather have a $5 and a dime, and she just looked at me like I was nuts. So I told her to put it in the register, and sure enough, it said I should get $5.10 back. My math skills amazed her.

Best Waitress: Conversely, my best restaurant experience was also in Layton. At the Sizzler over by the mall-thing. Not only was the ordered food good, but the salad bar was well stocked, and our waitress ROCKED!! I cannot, at this point, remember her name. So we'll call her Tiffany (because that might have been it.) Not only did she bring us juice in a sippy cup for Colleen's kid, but she calmly dealt with the morons across the way who wanted her to bring them things from the salad bar. Umm, it's a salad bar. By definition, one should go get their own little soup cup of ranch dressing. She joked with us, cleaned up after our messes (not mine so much as the 3 year olds), and is using this job to pay for college. I can respect that.

Most Confusing Restaurant: Okay Chuck Wagon in Idaho Falls, would you please explain to me why you have cookies with the rolls, deserts, and cold foot table? They all looked like the same kind of cookies to me. Do people care about the heat of their cookies enough that putting them in three different temperature ranges keeps mobs from forming? I just don't get it. Also, to the boy cutting the meat: You don't get paid more if you have meat left at the end of the night.
On the plus side: Thanks to our server, who kept the Mountain Dew coming.

Best accommodations: Yours, of course. How could you ever think I'd give this award to someone else.

Cutest Ultrasound: This great honor has to go one Mrs. Heather Deighton. I've seen ultrasounds before, and while I can see what I'm supposed to, I never understood all the gushing. Then I saw Heather's. Oh, now I understand. That is one good looking kid, and her fingers are precious. I felt bad for the man watching with us who couldn't see anything. Especially since the tech did a FANTASTIC job of finding and labeling things.

Tribal Journeys

2010-08-06T11:43:00.000-08:00

Now that four important things have converged, namely my laptop, camera, camera cord, and wireless internet, I am capable of posting some pictures from Canada and Western Washington. (Not the college. I've just been reading a lot of Jonathan Swift lately, and he likes to capitalize things. So I fight the urge, but sometimes I lose.)

This is the group waiting for Christine to park the car, so we can go into the museum. From left: Janelle, Jens (Yents) Jens, Hans-ole, Sara, Pipaluk, and Lars. Meghann must have wandered off to look at something at this point.

Yeah!! Three dollar breakfast. This was still in Vancouver.

During one of the dances, some girls came looking for partners, so we pointed at Hans-ole, and she drug him out onto the floor. So, like the mature people we are, we laughed at him, and giggled a lot.

And, just for a close up, the adorable Hans-ole. He doesn't speak English, so we pantomimed a lot of stuff.

Jens and Jens waiting for the bus at like 1:30 in the morning. Jens in the back has pulled all his hair over his face, then put his sunglasses back on.

And from behind, Jens climbs a tree at Stanley park. I hear they don't have trees in Ummanaq either.

Janelle, sitting in a funny, funny hand chair.

Sara, trying to pack her bags. It was an adventure in itself.

Local Weather

2010-07-30T23:37:00.000-08:00

I would normally thow an appology in here. But really, we all know that I get like this in the summer.

As most of you know, the sun doesn't set for very long in Shishmaref this time of year. My mother's computer is well aware of this fact. We've been keeping track of where everyone is, and the temperatures in those respective places. I was just on the computer, at 12:30 am, and had to laugh out loud when I saw our local temperatures:

Yup, there's Shishmaref, still sporting blue skies and a bright yellow sun. Also, if you'll notice, it's 3 degrees warmer in Shish than in Sedro-Woolley right now. Of course, the sun is still up there. Once the sun comes up in Myrtle Beach and Provo, their numbers will start climbing. Shishmaref won't get much about 65 this week. I wish the same could be said for here, as I get REALLY lazy when it starts to heat up.

I am leaving Sedro-Woolley on Monday, and will be leaving Washington early Tuesday morning. My next post will probably be from Alaska. It's weird to think it went by so quickly.

bad, bad poster

2010-07-25T22:48:00.000-08:00

My appologies to anyone who has tried to look up my adventures. I promise pictures are coming, just not yet.

However, for a fun blog:

http://rachelsfreezing.blogspot.com/

Rachel is amazing, and in the ward. Also, she's in an odd spot in her village. As a whitey, she's different from the locals, and as the wife of the trooper, she's not really part of the school scene. However, she feeds us ice cream while we're there, and isn't that what really matters? (no, but also, a little bit yes.)

Rachel has some awesome pictures of Unalakleet, where the district office is.

Trip Summary

2010-07-09T10:23:00.000-08:00

Okay, I am currently in Canada, but the cord for my camera is in Sedro-Woolley. So for now, no new pictures. I will say this: Global Warming Sucks. Or, more accuratly: "Can't we just go to the pool?"

trip

2010-06-27T12:58:00.000-08:00

Devoted Fans,

As soon as I get home, shower, sleep, and say hi to my parents, I will be posting pictures from the trip (because home is where the cord for the camera is). I will also be awarding trophies in several categories.

So far, I've come up with:

dumbest drive through window
best waitress (Whitney from Sizzler in Layton, you will probably win by a landslide)
nicest sleeping accommodations
worst cops
cutest child (and they don't have to be born yet for that one)
Worst drivers
Most awkward moment

and. . .

What? What else should I give out awards for? Let me know in the comments.

An apology

2010-06-19T16:36:00.000-08:00

Dear Idaho,

First, I would like to thank you for understanding that there are a lot of long, flat, empty stretches of road, and setting your speed limit correctly. Secondly, I appreciate that instead of telling me to "Click it or Ticket" you tell me to "Click it, Don't Risk It." While the rhyme isn't as accurate as Washington and Oregon, it does seem more like you care about me, and less like you're threatening me.

On to the apology: Today, while leaving a small town, the lid of my rubber-maid tub came loose, and a couple plastic bags went flying out. I noticed quickly, and pulled over to fix the problem. However, I left the four or five bags that had already fallen out. I ran through the options in my head, and decided that getting hit by a car while trying to pick up plastic bags off the meridian would be a bad idea. For the littering, I am sorry.

Also, for those of you in law enforcement: I have already crossed state boundaries. Please do not sit at the border waiting for me to come back.

Sincerely,
Colleen

Home again, Home again, jiggity jig.

2010-06-12T15:25:00.000-08:00

I'm home now! Which means a couple of things:

- I can go shopping WHENEVER I want.
- Church is more than 10 minutes away.
- I have to share the computer with several other people.

As a result of that last one, posting will be sporatic. Just letting you know. Also, I don't have Alaska adventures when I'm in Washington. Just sayin' .

Anchorage 2

2010-06-05T11:12:00.000-08:00

Okay, I was planning on coming down to Anchorage "until I was ready to leave." Then I was going to take the boat home. Timing on the boat is off, so maybe next year.

I was told the day I got here that "It's too bad you're not staying until next Saturday, that's the day they do the temple session in Tongan." And I thought it was a shame that I wasn't going to stay that long. Umm, I'm totally still here. And sitting in a session with headphones on in English is interesting.

It may be time to head for home. After all, house guests are like fish, not as appealing after the third day. Of course, I've lost track of time, and had no idea that I'd been here a week.

Clara, the youngest, likes to have her picture taken, so here she is:

We had just finished watching six hours of America's Top Model.

Anchorage

2010-05-31T22:18:00.000-08:00

Anchorage is better than Shishmaref because:

-French fries are cheap and plentiful.
-Get to ride around in cars.
-Temple recommends.
-Get to go to the DMV tomorrow.
-Prom dress shopping.
-Free and plentiful hot water.
-No phone calls.

Shishmaref is better than Anchorage because:

-I know all the kids at the store.
-Everything is close together.
-Not as many temptations to spend money.
-Ice cream is rationed a little better.
-No one else crawls into my bed in the night. (The little girl whose bed I took over. Get you mind out of the gutter).
-No phone calls.

Letter Home

2010-05-28T08:45:00.002-08:00

Issued solemnly, this the 27th day of May, 2010 to Mr. And Mrs. Deighton acknowledging your inclusion in the distinguished list of family, friends and loved ones of the beloved Alaskan Teacher Colleen Deighton.

 By virtue of the astounding, if not mind-boggling 42 wonderfully accumulated weeks composed in equal parts of sand, work, snow, darkness, tears and incredible joy in the service of the youth of Alaska, the Re-integration committee has decreed that the time has come for these calloused, blistered, tired and dirty feet to take a rest.

Soon this teacher will once again be in your midst, wearing out-of-style clothing, tanned from the neck up and wrists down, but full of love for her children, to once again enter into the high tech and overcrowded Continuous United States of America.

 As chairman of the committee responsible for homeward bound teachers departing from bush Alaska, it is my duty and privilege to inform you of the return of Colleen Deighton to the United States of America, after she has completed her service to the Bering Straits School District, Shismaref Site.

In making proper preparations to welcome Ms. Deighton back into reorganized society, it is suggested to keep in mind the confined, foreign environment that has controlled her life for the past two years. You may want to stock your kitchen with such items as fresh cookies, fruit, vegetables with no soft spots, meat that hasn’t been frozen twice, any kind of homemade goodies, and of course your child’s favorite dish. Kindly dispose of any signs of moldy bread or frozen cheese, powdered milk, and boiled or Clorox added drinking water.

Try to understand when she has untimely and uncontrolled cravings for Eskimo Ice Cream, Nome Cake, Musk Ox, and fajitas made with Caribou. Don’t take it personally when she refuses to drink the water out of the tap, keeps a glass in the fridge, or refuses to clean her toothbrush right out of the sink. Don’t be alarmed when she washes her fruits and vegetables with Clorox water. Please take into consideration and do not be disturbed when she eats with her elbows on the table, reuses her paper plate, and throws leftovers out the window. Be sure to have a full tank of HOT WATER, so that she can enjoy her first bubble bath or private shower in a LONG time.

Do not be surprised when he watches the water swirl down the toilet with amazement, or continually checks under the sink to see if the drain bucket is full. Running water will be a relatively new concept for her. Also things like heat vents, air conditioning, washers and dryers in the home, carpet in the bedroom and vacuum cleaners will be totally foreign to her. Do not be surprised when she wears flip flops in the shower, tries to lock her shower supplies up in a cupboard in the bathroom, or gets dressed to go to the bathroom in the morning.

You will need to remind her not to use the broom on the carpet in the house to clean, because it is inefficient on all carpets except institutional. You can also tell her it is not necessary to put tin-foil on the windows at night. Yes, you will need to let her know…THE CAMPING TRIP IS OVER!!! 

If she is made aware of an illness, virus or disease, she will have the tendency to prescribe drinking something with stink weed in it, that being the general cure for everything in the Bush. And if stink weed doesn’t work, a shot of penicillin from the local health aids will.

Please do not be disturbed when she tries to answer your questions with a raise of the eyebrows or a wrinkle of the nose. Do not be surprised if she repeats herself three times when speaking to a group. Please also ignore the use of definitions, what the word means, in every-day conversation.

This poor woman may have tendencies to get ready for church very late. With a commute of 45 seconds, anything longer seems like forever. Please kindly remind her that she doesn’t have to take roll at all meetings, reprimand small children she sees in public, or submit weekly plans in writing.

Your child is not used to driving a car. You can give Ms. Deighton her copy of the car keys, but before doing so you must teach her the rules of driving again. You see, she has been under the influence of “Bush Drivers” which means ANYTHING GOES- driving the wrong way down one-way streets, stop signs as suggestions that the bigger vehicle goes first and the little one should stop, not stopping for the police, the Largest vehicle has the right-of-way, etc.

You will also want to explain the purpose of the lines in the road-where they came from, why they are there, and where they go.  She may also need to be reminded that the hard stuff is called pavement, and one can drive faster than 20 miles an hour on it. She will also have to be reminded that five people do not fit in the cab of a pickup, nor can all five go without seat-belts. She may try to get 15 people in the back of a truck to drive the garbage to the dump. Please stop her from doing this before she gets a ticket. Please explain what tickets are.

For the first few weeks she is home, accept with understanding her broken English. A simple request for a translation will be sufficient when he involuntarily breaks into a dialogue known as “pigeon.” She may, also, pause a long time to think of a preposition or suffix. Please be patient.  Take into consideration her fragile “state of mind”. Do not be bothered if she taps the door and yells “Knock knock” while walking into a room uninvited, instead of waiting to be invited.

Please do not judge her crazy when her only topics of conversation are middle school cheerleading, the new vice principal, or how much snow fall we got this year. Ignore the following acronyms: BSSD, SHH, SIP, DART, QSM, IM, or HS/JH. Do not be embarrassed when she says hello to strangers at the store, or strikes up a conversation with the clerk at the gas station.

Also, when asked to run to the store before 9 am or between 6 and 7, don’t be alarmed if she replies saying, “I can’t, they’re closed!” Just patiently remind her that she is in the States now and CAN go whenever she wants. 

You are hereby warned and duly cautioned to treat the newly delivered bush teacher with great care, courtesy, affection, and love. Humor her in every way possible. Remain calm when she tries to interact with strange children. She is used to having children around 24 hours a day, so don’t be alarmed if she starts watching Dora, or has an uncontrollable need to cut out shapes.

Please remember that this bush teacher is accustomed to a strict and organized daily schedule and anything that may interfere with her daily meals and bathroom breaks may cause her to react in strange ways. All individuals react differently. She may type up schedules and post them, or ask her siblings why they didn’t go to the bathroom before the show started. We all pray that none of these possibilities will occur.

As of now, you are officially warned of the daily sights that your teacher saw.  She will surely be suffering from “Bushitis” an extreme love for the Inupiaq people, so please try to understand when she gets that far away look in her eyes and tears brim and quietly excuses herself from the room. She will be thinking of that far away land and the people that she has grown to love and who have changed her life. But broken hearts are mended with lots of love, hugs and chocolate-chip cookies with milk and with a little bit of patience, tolerance, kindness, and time, she will once again resemble the pre-Alaskan specimen that you once knew. You may be confused by her need to drum on things and sing from deep in her throat, or dance without moving her feet. She may feel a deep desire to wear beaded hair ties every-day, or change into sandals in the house. Remind her to put on a sweatshirt when she goes out in 40* weather. Even if she laughs and says it feels tropical.

So this is it. SHE IS COMING HOME!!! I thank you for giving close attention to these matters, and I hope that this information will be of assistance in giving your bush teacher a warm WELCOME HOME.  

Sincerely,

C.U. Soon

Director of Teacher Re-Inigration

Sunrise

2010-05-25T22:42:00.001-08:00

If you look off to the left, you'll notice that sunrise in Shishmaref is 4:41 in the morning. And that sunset is at 1:20 in the morning. And that leaves only three hours and twenty minutes with the sun down.

Dawn and dusk are always longer up here. But at this point of the year, they've grown together. It won't get really dark again until August. One of the things I always look forward to is the sun setting once I hit Anchorage. They're far enough south that it happens there.

So here I lie, in bed at midnight, and I can still see direct sunlight on the building across the way. Also, the classroom I'm sleeping in doesn't have curtains, so it's going to be light in here for a while.

Good thing there's tv on-line.

This Old House

2010-05-22T11:00:00.000-08:00

No, we're not talking about renovations. But we might be soon. I check out of the house in about 15 minutes. For the first time since I got it, I feel okay about taking pictures of everything at the same time.

A quick note beforehand: there are three things going to the new house that just haven't gone yet: the little freezer, the green couch, and the treadmill.

The kitchen:

See how tiny? See how little counter space? The new kitchen is huge, and has a real table with four chairs around it. Also, our food storage can go IN the kitchen instead of NEAR the kitchen.

On that note, the storage room:

The treadmill does not belong in the storage room anymore. Also, there are two more shelves like that black one.

Living Room:

And a picture that Victoria colored. I found it on the back of the door this morning. Funny, funny.

And, where I liked to spend a third of my life:

Oh, you can't see the green linoleum on this picture. Just believe me that it's there.

And to tie the whole thing together:

Kitchen on the right, standing in the living room, and looking down the hallway to the bedrooms. Ah, there's the green flooring.

Okay, what I would like to do now is show you the new house, but it's a mess. Boxes everywhere, and the table is already covered with stuff I don't know what to do with. So those pictures are going to have to wait.

This wasn't a bad little house, but it also doesn't have enough room in the kitchen for both of us, nor does it have a king sized bed.

Steve should be coming over to check me out in the next couple minutes.

Good-bye house.

Tug-of-War

2010-05-19T16:56:00.001-08:00

Okay, quick post today.

We had the end of the year assembly today. One of the silly little games we played was Tug-of-war. The k-3 boys fought the k-3 boys. Then the 4-6. Then 7-12. And just to be funny, they put the teachers against the high school boys. There were more of them. But we prevailed. It was our very very heavy brains that helped us out.

Or maybe we're just stronger. I thought I'd get a nice grip, so I wrapped the rope around my arm, and pulled with all my might.

I would like to take a moment to say that this is not a new and pretty rope. It's old, it's scratchy. And it gives one heck of a rope burn.

Steve Alston has one too. When we went to check them out against each other, he told me:

"Does yours hurt to poke? Mine hurts to poke." Turns out I hadn't tried mine yet, but yes, it hurts to poke.

And this is the news for the day.

UPDATE: My mark is starting to bruise up very nicely. Steve still has his initial mark, but no bruising around it. We both still feel pain when we poke our arms. But, to beat the high school boys, it was worth it.

Lake

2010-05-17T10:01:00.000-08:00

Okay, prom is over, the move is underway, and graduation is tonight. But I have funny things to share.

First off, it snowed last night. And not a sprinkling, either. A good inch and a half. In May. MAY! So hopefully for the last time, I shoveled the front porch this morning. Okay, it was the new front porch, which isn't nearly as big, but that's where the shovel is.

Then I walked over:

And yes, the lake isn't nearly as big as it was last year, but it's still wide enough that one can't walk from there to here without getting stuck.

I tried to walk over to the school from the new house, but hit the edge of the pond, and went to step up onto the hill next to my house. And my foot slid down the hill. So I readjusted, and my foot slipped again. So I scrambled quickly, and both feet slipped. Then I stood there looking at the ice slick I'd made with my shoes, and figured: eh, screw it. So I took them off, scrambled up the hill, and walked to my old house. It turns out that walking through snow is easier if it's on top of regular sand, and not a sheet of ice.

I'm at the school now, safe and sound. Amy followed me over, and hasn't mentioned my bare-foot prints. Maybe she didn't notice?

It's time to get my room put back together for the week. Four more days with the kids.

Pond

2010-05-13T11:55:00.000-08:00

This year, we had very little snow. Don't get me wrong here, we had snow. Lots of snow. Just not as much as last year.

Because of that, meltdown hasn't been nearly as horrible. I have only slid into a pond once, and I've only lost my shoe when my foot fell deep into the snow once. I did have to be dug out by a little kid with a shovel, but that was only because I didn't want to put my foot down in the snow.

Here's my house yesterday morning, and the puddle.

I had big plans that involved documenting this lake that is created every year between my house and Ken's. So, of course, there is no lake this year. This makes me sad. In years past, it has gone from my porch post to Kens.

This sucks. Whatever. K. Bye.

Upcoming Events

2010-05-11T12:29:00.001-08:00

Here's what's coming up in my life:

Wednesday: Assembly from our Elders about healthy summer-time activities. Should run from 3:00 -3:45.

Thursday: Public Health Nurses come back and check my TB test.

So far, so good. It's starting to bruise, which is not normal for me. However, it is completely flat, which is nice. I also got a shiny holographic band-aid, and a Disney Princess sticker for not crying.

Okay, so the stickers were for the kids. That's not the point. I didn't cry, I get a sticker. That's all there is to it. Angie didn't get a sticker, because she didn't ask, so she went and bugged Steve the principal, and he gave her a couple small ones. She promptly stuck them on her face. For those of you not in the know, Angie is a real, live grown-up. Not a four-year old. I don't think any of the 4-year-olds stuck their stickers on their faces.

Friday: Starting at 1, we will set up the gym for prom. Prom will be held from 9-12, with crowning happening at midnight, and dinner to follow. Spaghetti, french bread, salad, cake w/ice cream. Good times. And because I never wrote about prom last time, and feel guilt, here are some pictures from last year.

Jordan, taking a break from blowing up balloons. See how we wrapped the gym in brick to make it be a castle? Yup, I'm awesome like that.

These are my seniors, dressed up pretty: Jordan (from the photo above) Jesse B, Patrick, Katherine, Dolly, and Theresa. Also, James Kakoona in the red t-shirt is in there. I don't know why.

When I advised, we did "Night of Romance" and made a castle, the next year was "City of Love" and they made the gym look like Paris. If I do say so myself, mine was more AWESOME, but that's just my opinion.

King Wesley Pootoogooluk, and Queen Victoria "Sweety" Sinnok. Very nice.

Saturday: Little kid prom. We're splitting it up this way because the little kids like to spill their drinks, pop the balloons, and tear down the streamers. Drives me nuts. So now the big kids will have prom first, when everything looks pretty, then the little kids can run amok on Saturday, and no one will care.

Monday: Graduation. Okay, these are not this years' graduates. These are my babies from last year. Katherine, James (oh, maybe that's why he's in my prom picture) Theresa, Roy Amos, and Dolly.

Jackie and Holly came into my room two days ago, wearing their robes, and I will admit that I got a little teary-eyed. I'm going to miss those buggers. It's unfair, really. I spend how many years teaching them to be competent adults, they finally get to the point where you can have an adult conversation with them, and then they leave.

Wednesday: End of year assembly. I've heard that the perfect attendance kids are getting bikes this year. How awesome is that? I think this is because the group from last year (four kids, maybe five) got iPods, but since there is a large overlap, that doesn't make sense to do again.

Thursday: Last day of school. Locker clean-out, textbooks come home, tables are cleaned and stacked for the summer. It drives my kids nuts, but my morning classes continue to work. They can still turn stuff in, there's no reason to stack everything in the morning and sit on the floor all day. Also, early out.

Friday: Teacher Work Day. Also, the annual cheerleader slumber party. And they get to help me move. Because, hey, cheap labor. Let's put a picture of them in, just because they're so dang cute:

Then, less detailed,

1 Week: Unalakleet

2 Weeks: Anchorage with the Guy family.

4 Days: Ferry to B'ham

Hang at home.

Drive to Utah via Idaho. See babies. See pregnant girls. Be depressed about being single.

Drive Home. Sleep a lot.

Drive to Canada, load up camping gear for some kids, and drive to a big NA Pow Wow in Blaine.

Aug 3: fly to Alaska, help with new teacher orientation (aka Welcome Wagon).

Aug 6: Fly to SHH, finish unpacking.

Holy crap! Where did my summer go?!?

UPDATE:

This afternoon, I looked at my arm, and was shocked to see my TB test. So I drew a circle around it. And just now (8:00pm) I took a picture of it, just to see how it had grown since the circle. And since I know you are all hanging on my every post, I'm sharing it with you:

Stupid, Stupid Jokes

2010-05-06T14:46:00.000-08:00

I walked into Ken's room today, and one of the girls was wearing a sticky-note, which forced Ken to ask, "Why are you wearing a note that says 'Kick me' ?" So she looked. Even though she knew the note was blank. So then we asked her if her note said gullible. She did figure that one out. And then the jokes started:

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

A proton walked into a bar and asked for a beer. The bartender asked if he was sure. The proton replied: Positive.

A man asked an electron: why so negative?

There were others, I don't remember what they were. Sticky note girl just looked at me when I asked her to remember the other ones. Oh well. If I think of them, I'll add them later.

I think it's time for school to get out.

Moving Update

2010-05-03T17:33:00.000-08:00

As of right now, all of Melinda's stuff is out of her house. She's gonna take a day or two to clean it out, and then we can start moving in. I've got some boys who are excited about helping me. If nothing else, they can carry boxes of books over.

And for a little perspective:

I'm standing on my porch, looking down the length of my house, and that truck is parked in front of Melinda's house. Moving shouldn't be that hard.

Actually, Lake Deighton is starting. Right now it's just a dark area, with the promise of water. But I can see it coming. I'd like to get the move done before this happens again.

Here's the start:

I know it's not much to look at right now, but give it a week or two. I'll keep you posted.

Move

2010-04-30T10:23:00.000-08:00

Apparently, Melinda is planning on being out of our new house by tonight. Since most of her stuff will be in Wales by tonight, she's moving in with a friend, who still has things like silverware, and laundry soap.

How does this news affect me? I can start the move to the new house this weekend, instead of in three weeks, like previously planned. And I'm pretty excited about this. It means I can clean out the house while we move.

Those movies I never watch? They don't get to come.

Couscous someone else gave me when they moved out? Not coming.

Four sets of sheets that are going to be too small for my new king-sized bed? Garage Sale!

The flimsy garbage bags I don't like and will never use again? Garbage!

See, I've got plans already! More to come as events unfold.

Windows

2010-04-29T09:03:00.000-08:00

The sun came up at 6:25 this morning. It will remain up for 17 hours and 10 minutes. And tonight, it will set at 11:35.

My bedroom window faces due East. In the winter, this is not a problem. However, this time of year I've got full sun coming straight in my bedroom in the wee hours of the morning. I also have light coming in until after 12:30 at night. (I don't know when it gets dark, I can't stay up that late anymore.) For all intents and purposes, it's light all the time for me. This makes sleeping hard.

I finally put tin foil up over my bedroom window. I was thinking it looked a bit white-trash, until I realized that from the outside, one would have to look across a dead, rusted out pickup truck to even see it. And then I felt better.

Okay, a disclaimer: This is not my town. For starters, our sun actually goes down, for a couple hours in the summer, but it never gets dark. Also, we are still frozen solid up here. But this picture gives a pretty good idea of what "sunset" looks like once you go about 20 miles North.

Peace on Earth

2010-04-22T17:49:00.000-08:00

While in Unalakleet, I had the opportunity to eat at Peace on Earth, a pizza/sandwich/pasta place here in town. The last time I was there, I took some pictures, and now I'm going to share:

The order counter, Bonnie, and the ice cream cases, which currently hold no ice cream.

Jan from Teller, and the rest of the kitchen counter thing.

Here is the district librarian (on the left) Darla. Darla is AWESOME. That's a stage in the back, for the band. While we were there, the band was out on the porch practicing.

Okay, nothing big for today. This is the closest I had to an adventure in the last couple days.

Unalakleet

2010-04-21T16:48:00.000-08:00

Reasons I like being in Unalakleet:

-Showers with adjustable heat

-Piece on Earth (Pizza place)

-Driving around in cars

-Darla, and free books

-New ideas to use in my classroom

Reasons I'd rather be in Shishmaref:

-I miss my kids

-I'm worried about what my kids are doing during class time this close to graduation

-Full sized bed

-Amy is back in Shishmaref

-I can cook what I want at home

-Couches and Lay-z-boy.

So, overall, I'm pretty excited about being here. And I'm going out to dinner with the librarian. So that pretty much rocks. On Sunday, I'll be glad to be home.

Trip to Unalakleet

2010-04-20T18:24:00.000-08:00

Today I was on what one might call "the milk run" on my way from Shishmaref to Unalakleet. I started out with Janelle and Corey, who were headed to Nome for an Elders/Youth conference.

Janelle, who you may recognize from such posts as "Trip to Copenhagen."

Corey, who I went to Nome with for NACTEC a couple weeks ago. The funniest part of this trip was that those two, who just happened to be on the same plane I was on, assumed I was in charge of them. They didn't go anywhere without checking with me, and also expected me to buy their snacks. Okay, we all know I'm a push-over, and would have bought them anyway.

On our way to Nome, we stopped off at Teller to pick up another C&I member for my trip, and four more kids for the conference. Teller sticks out into this lagoon, and on the other side is Brevig Mission. They're 8 miles apart.

What we're looking at here is that big chunk of open water near Brevig Mission. We don't have any open water, and they already have this big chunk. Down here in Unalakleet, they also have big swatches of open water, and you can see the ice actually floating around on it.

This is just a shot of how close we were to the mountains. Since we were bouncing between small villages, we didn't get up very high.

White Mountain Airport. And yes, those are TREES!!!! We were pretty excited when we saw them.

I couldn't help it, I saw a whole forest of trees, and took pictures of those too.

This is the open water outside of Unalakleet. And the village is down there, somewhere. Considering I took all of these pictures with my laptop, using PhotoBooth, I'm pretty impressed with the results.

Inupiaq Days

2010-04-16T19:22:00.001-08:00

Inupiaq Days is officially over. The basketball tourny will go on tonight, and all day tomorrow, but as far as my part: I'm finished. Well, sort of. I'm tabulating the exit surveys the kids filled out this afternoon. More on that will follow.
One of the classes we had this week was butchering, and that was followed by cooking. Tonight, as part of tradition, we had the Elders Feast. It's held in the home ec room during the ballgames, and elders wander in whenever and eat. Then community members, and kids, and teachers, and whoever else is wandering around. There are FOUR giant pots of soup left. We could probably just drag those into the gym and start ladling.

I had dinner too:

Top left: Noodle salad. It's good. It's also the same thing you had at the last church potluck. The pan it came in looks surprisingly like one of the school bowls. When asked, the bearer of the salad changed the subject.
Top right: She-fish. (her-fish?) I don't know what this is called anywhere else, but it's light and flaky. Yum!
Bottom left: The school cooks made rolls today for dinner. Thanks cooks!
Bottom middle: Cake. You know, cake.
Bottom right: That's not the best picture, but that's caribou steak. One of our seniors cut it up and fried it up in the school kitchen. Then he loaded his serving platter up and walked away. I got to use my muscles to open the heavy duty cleaner so the cooks could scrub the grill. Sorry cooks.
Caribou tastes like caribou. It drives me slightly nuts when people say stuff tastes "like chicken." If everything tasted like chicken, we'd just eat chicken. (I'm not knocking chicken. I love those tasty little guys.) I'm just saying that caribou doesn't taste like cow. A bit like moose, yes, but cow? Not really.

I am just so appreciative of everyone who helped at Inupiaq Days. It was an amazing success.

And now for some specifics:

Dolly - When asked to teach Crocheting, she readily agreed. She brought her own hooks and when no one told her the box in her room was for her (full of yarn) she pulled out her own supplies. She required no supervision, and asked for nothing. She is my hero.

Bob- Speaking of heroes. Bob said that while he had no Eskimo skills, he'd do what needed to be done. We decided to have him haul trash for elders, but then it warmed up, and the roads got slushy and we couldn't drive the truck, so he had his eight classes clean out the trophy cases. Dusting, organizing, hanging plaques, and measuring all random pictures and certificates so we can buy frames for them. Bob also required exactly ZERO directions, help, or assistance. And the trophy case looks AMAZING.

Bessie- Bessie wasn't even planning on being here this week. She was supposed to be running her dogs in the city races. However, because of the same mushiness, the sleds can't go out on the lagoon. Bessie picked up wherever we needed her, taking over classes for a person who couldn't make it. Today, she took over the preparations for the elders feast, organized the helpers, and got everything ready. She is an amazing woman, and I couldn't have done this without her.

Bea - Bea had the same job on the elementary side I did over here. Officially, scheduling. In reality, scheduling, organizing, preparation, planning, procuring supplies, organizing supplies, and putting out fires when people didn't show up to teach their classes like they promised.

Floyde- For patiently listening to me when I cried in his office about how my job was too hard, and everyone was picking on me. And then telling me that he appreciates everything I do, which just made me cry again.

My parents- (okay, this is starting to sound like an awards speech) Why mom and dad, you may ask? Because they taught me to do what needs to be done. To step up and take on a project for the good of the community. To be organized, hard working, persevering, and capable of finishing a job. To schedule 45 middle and high schoolers in such a way that no one has to sit for too long, isn't with people they hate, and doesn't have to sew unless they want to. Watching my mom organize girls camp was a great lesson for this sort of work.

Okay, this has gotten wordy, and text-dense. Here, this seal was in the boys locker room defrosting before being butchered:

And here it is, being kupshuqed (Yeah, spelling. Whatever.)

One more semi-random thought for the day: There are several words in Inupiaq that have worked their way into our current speech patterns. To remove the blubber from the pelt is kupshuq. To piggy-back a baby inside your coat is amuq. This is not the weird part. The weird part is that most people I hear use current, English language suffixes on them. I have kupshuqed. I am kupshuqing. I will kupshuq tomorrow. No one really notices. It's pretty funny, if you think about it. Or maybe that's just my nerd humor.

Way too excited

2010-04-14T17:38:00.000-08:00

First off, I'd like to remind everyone that there was an "actual" post after that joke about why I was posting. You just have to scroll down.

Ladies and Gentlemen. I have an announcement. No, not that. No, not that either. Please, just let me finish. I went to the post office and got my mail today. (No, Amy, that's not the news. I do know how to go to the post office. Just because I don't doesn't mean I forgot.) My Amazon box came in, and here are the three things I am most excited about:

Part of me feels shame at my joy about these purchases. (Great job fundraising to everyone involved!) I know it's just cheerleading. I know that they are in 4th - 8th grade, and that they fall pretty low on the totem poll of district sports. But you know what? I love those girls. Even when I catch them eating ice cream sandwiches while doing their sit ups.

Also, I'm excited about having new resources with new cheers, and better exercises. I am fully aware that I was never a big cheerleader supporter during high school. Okay, so I used to take a book to pep assemblies. But I'm starting to appreciate this sport.

After we move into the new house, the cheer girls and I are going to have a slumber party in the empty house. They're pretty excited. And it turns out: I'm pretty excited too. Sometimes they're nuts. After all, they're struggling with adolescence, and their own identities. But in the long run, they're a pretty decent set of girls. And I'm looking forward to next season.

Dad said. . .

2010-04-11T00:18:00.000-08:00

There is a potato processing plant (transfer station?) near my home. It has a reader-board out front. This board doesn't display hours of operation, or upcoming events. Nope, it just had punny things on it. And one time, it said: "Delia said I had to change the sign." It was the first time I'd seen that, and I just found it funny.

With that in mind, Dad said I needed to post more.

Okay, in real life, I am currently working on fabric prep for inupiaq days. First we cut fleece into squares, then cut notches out:

Now I'm cutting strips out of the sides. Next week, the kids will tie the two sides together, and fill them with stuffing. And then they'll have a pillow.

Yup, these are the things I do when I'm not living my glamorous life. Yup, glamorous life of . . . umm. . . swimsuit modeling and jetting off to Paris for a real French-tip manicure.

Testing Week

2010-04-07T09:22:00.000-08:00

Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, we've reached that all too familiar portion of the year. Well, familiar if you work in education. Yes, that's right. It's time for State Mandated Testing. Bum-bum-bum *fake thunder*

Yesterday was Reading, today is Writing, and tomorrow is Math. Friday is Science. So far, I haven't proctored. Which means that instead of sitting in a room with kids I'm not allowed to talk to, I'm in a room with all the kids who have already finished, who just want to get their work done, so they can graduate. Once the High School Graduation Qualifying Exam has been passed, one no longer has to take it. Of course, we also have super-seniors who will be taking the test today for the 7th time. (The initial test is in the spring, but there is a re-test in October, too.)

Tomorrow, I will proctor the math test. I'm not allowed to proctor reading or writing because that's what I teach, and it's frowned upon. I'm considered a safe proctor for math, since I don't have access to the kids in that subject.

After signing for the tests and getting the kids set up, proctoring involves watching them to make sure they don't cheat, and calling down to the office so an individual can be escorted to the bathroom. It doesn't require a lot of skill. Proctoring is like this, (stolen from www.basicinstructions.net):